


To see him once again.

by ArwemTasartir



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2018-11-09 21:53:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11113611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArwemTasartir/pseuds/ArwemTasartir
Summary: That is my first fanfic EVER and also English is not my native language please be kind with my mistakes at times. Point them out also if you can... Thank you soooooo much everyone!





	1. A tale about our beginning

**Author's Note:**

> That is my first fanfic EVER and also English is not my native language please be kind with my mistakes at times. Point them out also if you can... Thank you soooooo much everyone!

She never thought that this day would come...the day that she would lay my eyes upon him again.....

It was so sweet as she had imagined

  
She was but a little girl when she'd made my mind on who was her favorite sibling. No other than her sweet Jon.Always brooding,but when he was in a fine mood his laugh would light up the whole room. It was genuine and it was just like my father's.It wasn't a secret after all. That the bastard son of Lord Eddard Stark of Winterfell was the spitting image of him. Him and Arya of course,stubborn by nature and everything their ancient blood supposedly were. They always were saying she was Lady Lyanna, her father's sister, reincarnated. She had a quick temper and never liked to become a lady , something that Arya always seemed to embrace. Yet her aunt Lyana always seemed to like songs, just like herself, but people always seemed to believe that she was not a true northerner. Yet i was the only one to be born in Winterfell. Neither Jon nor Robb were born in the North.  
She was a pale skinned,auburn haired, blue eyed girl just like her lady mother, and most of her Tully ancestors. Robb, Rickon and Bran were no exception and as they grew elder they came to look like their mother more and more every day.  
She remembers the time that she learned that Jon wasn't my brother from the same mother that bore and birthed my siblings.It was a summer morning, still in Winterfell you could always feel a little chilldown your spine. Robb and Jon were sparring in the courtyard, with Bran beside them always keeping a sharp eye and memorizing the fast choreography. He wanted to be a knight after all. Arya was sure somewhere there near the boys. Little troublemaker that was, always behind boy's shadow even when she was that little. She was watching them from afar. Mother and father were a few meters away and were looking at the boys.  
"Mama Jon and Robb are very good aren't they?" the words seemed to escape her mouth as she was running to her mother to state that she was very proud for both her siblings.

"Yes indeed my love, Robb surely is " she darted her eyes to my father, who seemed not to wrong either one.  
"Jon is also quite good, mama" i pointed out to her.  
"How can a bastard be a match to a Lord , m'lady?" It was the voice of a steward passing by that exact moment and i was sure very curious to learn what that word meant. I turned to look to my father, who now held an angry unbreakable gaze towards the boy that had previously spoke.

"Papa, what is a bastard? I had heard that word before....yet i don't know what it is"

"My sweet little girl." he kneeled and stroked her cheek. "That word shouldn't be spoken for anyone. It means that a man wasn't honorable enough and made a babe with another woman, even though they were never joined with the ritual of marriage. And now, it seems i must tell you a story..." he looked up to watch Lady Catelyn that seemed to be annoyed by that conversation. "Before you were born, papa was called at arms by uncle Robert. I think you know why for, don't you little girl?" Sansa screamed in excitement because it was one of her favorite stories at the time "Because uncle Robert went against the crown because his betrothed, our aunt lady Lyanna, was kidnapped by Rhaegar Targaryen" . He smiled " That is quite right my little one. But i was too afraid that i wouldn't be able to come back home because people all around us were being killed and i was young and so scared. I found consolation for the night to the arms of a girl. That was not the right thing to do i admit it. And later, when the war was almost over, the girl came to me with your brother Jon at her arms claiming he was my child. He was indeed,and your mother was very kind to take me back into her arms, and give me four other children. " He raised his gaze into her eyes feeling thankful that he accepted him even after his infidelity. She was always not very fond of Jon i could see that. She never held him into her arms, nor nursed him when he was sick,yet she was the most caring mother when it came to her siblings. Which strike her as odd, before but not right now. She felt a sympathy for her mother. She felt why she was so distant to Jon and as a reflex she had to take her side.  
Only she could see that her mother was fragile behind her mask of a true Lady, hard as a stone, but when it came to Jon she was furious most of the times. She held him responsible for almost everything when he wasn't. Her father was adamant for Jon to be raised like his trueborns, but she couldn't watch him grow to become more and more like Ned when her trueborns , all besides Arya, looked nothing like her lord husband.  
So she had to part from Jon and give her mother the attention she needed. She had to know that one of her children was by her side.  
She was raised to be a proper lady, just like her mother before her, and learn many things such as houses,banners,songs and stories. She had a very strict schedule she had to follow every day so it was easier to part more and more every day from Jon. Quickly enough, Robb, showered her with presents and she showed him her love by hugging him and pressing kisses on his cheek.

One day, she craved for a lemon cake as she had never craved one before. When i should be practicing her stitching,sneaked to the kitchens to get a lemon cake. It wasn't an easy task because it was broad daylight and she risked being seen by every person in the castle. When Sansa entered the kitchens she knew someone was there. Near the cupboard on the right corner of the kitchen was a silhouette of a young boy. Turning to where Sansa stood she saw grey eyes. He was holding the whole plate of lemon cakes. His smile was broad and she almost smiled back but never did. She took a step back and turned so she could never be with him in the same room, due to the fear that her mother would catch them. She was afraid that she would feel even more betrayed if Sansa were to talk to Jon.  
Thats when she heard his voice, deep even then when he was a boy "Lady Stark...wait". She never replied, but she turned to his side just looking at him. "I was finishing up with my dessert here...I am just going to leave this here" and he placed the plate gently on the oaken counter that the women were often preparing the meal." and i will be gone. You should really try it though. It is amazing". he passed by, and when their shoulders touched Sansa felt as if i was struck by a lighting bolt. She held her breath and exclaimed a simple "Thank you Jon".


	2. Feelings at bay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as promised... Second chapter right up...(i had a problem with my Internet connection) enjoyyyyy

She simply does not know how she could not share a word, or looks for all this time. It was like he never existed. He was like that direwolf of his that he so liked to call Ghost. He was a ghost to her. Sansa was always on her lessons and she was doing quite good with everything. From dancing to practicing her handwork, mending all the clothes that needed to be mend, especially Robb's that were always worn out from all the training he had. She always like to embroider little direwolves, the sigil of their House, to his breeches or tunics into places that were so distinctive that even Robb couldn't find them.  
Robb always took her and their direwolves to stretch their legs and let them run free as they were meant to. Watching how happy they were to be walked out of the castle walls Sansa felt as if she was the one to run wild. It always felt good. Robb had taken food along so they could never starve. They sat by the spring and Sansa admired the red leaves that were covering the sun. It was so calm to the godswood and she closed her eyes to smell the nature that spread before them.  
"You know Sans, you are very cruel towards our brother" Robb cut right to the chase.

"Half-Brother my dear..." Sansa corrected him without opening her eyes"Besides he never seems to care. All those years and we are still keeping our distances. Not that if he wanted to have anything to do with me i would be concent. I don't want to be his sister or his family. He has Arya. He was always as fierce as she is and they seem to get along pretty fine. And i have you my dear brother always keeping me safe. Right ? " she opened her eyes, her head still pointed upwards. White mingled with red. Just as Ghost's eyes and fur. That direwolf was something else. He was quicker,wittier and more beautiful than any other direwolf Sansa had laid eyes on. He was just like a weirwood tree and he seemed magical. "That is correct. I bet that mother and father do not pressure you for lessons like they used to. With us waiting for the royal family that is. Mother seems to be in a frenzy" She was. Her eyes had blackened due to the sleepless nights to prepare everything for the Royal Family's arrival. Sansa wondered if she ever had dark circles around her eyes when she was waiting for father, with a babe in her hands. If she cried herself to sleep every night since the day he came with a babe on his arms. A babe that wasn't hers. If she had stayed wide awake when Jon almost was took by a fever. She said that she swore to love him, but how could she? Her frustration did not prevent every breathing soul in our household to adore him, though. He was always sulking in some corner, trying not to make it worse for my mother. The fact that he looked more and more like my father, day after day, even in his character, never made it easy for me nor my mother to hate him.  
Yet Arya adored him truly. She wasn't the only one but she was the only one that made Sansa furious. She was supposed to be a lady, to be treated like she was treated. Yet she was free to do other things such as riding,sparring,being out in the open practising her marksmanship. And Jon was the one to vouch for her. Sansa longed for a ride and for break from her lessons yet they were strict that she must follow her lessons, when Arya was free of that.  
The arrival of the Royal family, like Robb stated, had them all in a furry. Sansa was able to get a taste of what freedom felt like and thought she would never want to go back to being always in a castle. Soon, she would be free of that. Sansa would be betrothed to some Knight or a Lord or in the best case scenario, a Prince. Sansa was looking forward to meet the Queen's children. She wanted to be swept off of her feet by Prince Joffrey.  
If only father makes her a match with the prince....  
Not everyone seemed so kin in meeting them. Robb was not that thrilled, neither were Arya, Bran and Theon. Jon never spoke his mind about their guests and Rickon was but a little lad. Yellow and Black were at peak, due to our declaration of loyalty to House Baratheon and the King.  
Father never shared the reason he was going to come to Winterfell,after all these years,with any of his children but Sansa imagined her lady mother knew and a few other trusted people. Maybe to pay his respects to my aunt Lyanna, but that was a bit unlikely. Traveling this far just for this reason would seem like madness. Although, it would be so sweet to travel this far to pay his respect to my late aunt's grave.  
A greyish hot fur against her face woke her up from daydreaming. Their direwolves have returned after a long period of time, yet she thought it was but a moment.

"Shall we go now sis?Mother will be fuming if we haven't returned at this time". Sansa nodded.  
The walk back at the castle was silent from Sansa'a part yet Robb was mumbling on and on about his training and how he wanted one last sparring practice before the sunset.As soon as they reached the castle doors, he parted.  
Mother was nodding at Sansa from afar, seeming very sorry for what she was about to announce. Sansa walked towards her but she knew that she was up to do an errand or be scolded at for not practicing her lessons.  
"My love you are the only one that can help me. I do not wish to go to that room. I wish you will go to Theon's room to summon him for i want his help. Where is Robb anyway?"

"He said something about training."  
"Alright i will fetch Robb but please do this little thing for me!"

"As my lady mother commands." Sansa courtesied and turned away from him to go bring Theon before her.

Winterfell was crowded these days. New faces were everywhere lords and ladies but common people also. Sansa did not want to go to Theon's room. He was always making her kind of nervous. He was always found to brothels or talking to kitchen girls. He had stated that he wanted to ask for Sansa from her father but when he received punch from Robb he changed his idea. For a second at least because he had made his move multiple times even after that.  
Approaching Theon's room, during all this long walk of the corridor that led to it, Sansa felt goosebumps.She could not put her finger around it why this feeling had occurred. She had been there before but never alone and never after he had claimed that he wanted her. Maybe it was because he was threatening her dream of marrying a Lord. Sure Theon was highborn, but a Greyjoy none the less. He was the son of a traitor.

 _"Silly girl there's nothing to be afraid or anxious of"_ Sansa thought to myself yet she never followed her advice.

Arriving outside Theon's room ,having past hundreads of people, Sansa steadied herself before knocking the heavy wooden door. "Come on in" the familiar voice Of Theon was heard from the other side of the room. Took a deep breath and opened the heavy oaken door ready to go inside.It smelled like leather and cologne of unknown origin,perhaps it was the ingredient that they used to put on their faces after being freshly shaved. There were three people in the room. The barber that was obligated to cut their hair and trim their beards, Theon freshly shaved and shorn and Jon sitting on the Chair getting his beard trimmed.It was then, when his whole body tensed by Sansa's presence there that she saw what the maids were saying about her half brother and how they praised his looks with lustful words watering their mouth. Sansa always thought they were ville to even speak of such things. He wasn't the frightened boy that stilled when she caught him eating multiple pieces of lemon cake. He was a still-forming young man. His figure was lean,his muscles hard around the torso and vains making rivers on his arms probably shaped by all that training they were forced to attend. He was well build. Sansa couldn't help but stare for a moment or two.She caught herself biting the inside of her cheek to regain control. She turned her attention to Theon who seemed rather amused by Sansa's innocensce and the redness that surely was forming to her cheeks."Theon if you'd be so kind and go to my lady mother. She required your presence" after finally saying it she tried to look at everything but Jon's naked upper body. The rug hanging on the wall to keep it warm, the fireplace, the beds with their freshly changed sheets, the razor and these raven locks. She couldn't revert her eyes. He was like a magnet to her eyes. They always rolled around his body. And then Sansa locked into his eyes. Those eyes she'd felt being on her the entire time she was in this -now seemed oh!so stiffly- room."I will be right there then, I would not want to displease Lady Catelyn." Those Grey eyes piercing Sansa with suspicion this time, because as Theon spoke she kept lingering her own Tully blue eyes into his Stark grey ones. Why could she not move? It is as if his eyes pinned her to the floor. Sansa tried to speak but the voice never came. She cleared her throat and tried again and this time it was a success. "That will be all,then" she managed to say and turned her back to that scenery,praying that her heart wasn't audible to the other end of the room where he was still looking right at her.Closing the door Sansa ran to her chambers and locked it, surpassing -among the many people- her lord father that asked her “Is everything alright Sansa?SANS..?" but she couldn't stop for she was too afraid of that feeling that seemed to rose. What was this anyway?

This wasn't the kind of affection that she felt for Robb. It was something else entirely. Arriving at her room she passed by a mirror and she could see her face blushing from ear to ear. "What on 7 hells is wrong with me? Am i sick? He's my bro.....HALF-brother, Sansa!" Yet all Sansa could think of was if he caught the nature of her thoughts about him.Was it guilt? Or Brotherly love? Or was i jealous? The jealousy she felt when he teased Arya. When he spoiled her. That she had to attend her septa’s sewing lessons among others while she was free to run with her other brothers,being adored.Sansa was adored as well, by Robb and Gods know that she adored him back, more than anyone. Yet something was missing from her bond with Robb. Was it intimacy? Sansa hasn't got the slightest idea what THIS is but it has to end. Sooner rather than later.

The days past by and she couldn't seem to get the image out of her head. His perfect body flashing before her lashes as she was waking every day. But today it was special. They would have guests at the castle today. Sansa had to stop thinking about him. It was not proper after all...The gods would punish her. It was hard for her to gather her strength and rise from the bed. Sansa tried her best to do so and she succeeded.  
Going to wash her face, Sansa could hear footsteps approaching fast and the door open with a thud. It was Arya. Of course it was her.

“SANSA SISTER! ARE YOU READY? THEY ARE HERE THEY ARE ARRIVING ANY MINUTE NOW. THEY ARE NOT LONG ENOUGH COME! HURRY UP!”


	3. The feast

The Royal party that gathered outside their yard was nothing like Sansa had imagined. It was vividly colourful. Red and Gold and Yellow were the colours that mained.

  
The hall was crowded to the point of drowning. Even more,in the castle,one more person couldn't possibly fit. It was nothing like Sansa had experienced before! Nothing on that scale at least. Her family and the Royal family were constantly together.

  
Her mother gave the Queen a tour and showed her her chambers when she could rest and get ready for the feast.

  
Queen Cersei was beautiful beyond compare. Her golder blonde hair were tied into a persect tangled knot in the back of her head. She always was standing tall and lean making her gown of red colour, with long sleeves and emboided golden lions on it, look extravagant.

  
Queen's twin Brother,Jaimie, even though he was a member of the Kingsguard, which meant he could not take a wife, seemed to draw all the eyes on him. Even men were looking at him and Sansa was betting it was because they were feeling rather intimidated.And all that by just standing there, guarding. His Kingsguard attire seemed to outline his blond locks, that seemed to match Cersei's, and it made his green eyes seem like they were liquid wildfire.

Even Tyrion, the imp as they used to call him, a full nickname,was like he came out of some tale. He was described as if he were a monster,but to her eyes he was not as described. He wasn't as beautiful or radiant as his twin brother and sister were, but he had a mystery shadow around him being intriguing.

Princess Myrcella was everything she wished Arya was. Although princess was not as vivid, a feature Sansa seemed to be fond of from Arya's part. Her sister was bold, she always spoke her mind no matter who she was referring to. The Princess was the middle of the children, although she was as tall as Joffrey was. The girl was merry,singing,dancing and seemingly really enjoying the feast.

Prince Tommen was but a little babe, a bit older than my brother Rickon.The youngest of three. His pink round cheeks,were flushing from all the running with the children of his age. When they first arrived at Winterfell his cheeks were again red,but that was because he felt shy. 

Prince Joffrey was the eldest and he seemed rather fond of her company.He was very kind and very proper. Sansa honestly had no words to describe him. He was everything she had read about in the books and everything she hoped to be beside her. Joffrey had her hanging by his lips. He was praising her beauty and her courtesies ,often saying that she to be his Queen. Dancing with her made her realize that he was ,of course, a decent dancer not stepping onto her feet as Robb often did when they learned how to dance. And she was ,oh!,so flattered! He had caught Sansa's attention completely and she was ignoring everyone else so did he. Robb tried to interrupt a couple of times to ask Sansa to dance with him but she just gave him an angry glimpse and he left to dance with one of the girls that attended the feast. 

The King was nothing Sansa had imagined to be. The great warrior he once was. Before their eyes the King was a fat fool, constantly drinking, laughing to every nasty little joke and was being rude to women and disrespectful towards his wife. Sansa knew then why the queen was always so frown and always had this disapproving look on her face. Between laughing with Joffrey and giggling with Jayne who was sitting next to her, she felt something. Something pulling her head like a magnet. Sansa felt a set of eyes constantly on her. Turning her face she saw that face that haunted her dreams sometimes. He was staring at her, though his look seemed lost,depressed. He was sad about something, but Sansa couldn't put her finger on. He was to attend the feast,but her mother made it crystal clear that he was to be sited with the guests not with their father's true family. She was stone cold. That was the first time that evening she'd laid eyes on him. He never seemed present all that time as if he was some kind of ,like his direwolf was named, ghost. Present but not really. Was he like this because he couldn't join them,or more likely their siblings rather than herself, in the feast? Deep down Sansa longed to discuss what was bothering him. She could not though and it pained her.She tried to turn her head and stop thinking about him, so she focused on the Prince.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**Jon** _

  
Jon hated every second that he had to attend that dreadful feast for King's honor.At first it was a rather cheerful the scenery, and the aura, the music, the food, the ale. Everything was perfect.

 _"The colours of the decoration the music that it is playing even the food is excellent! Lady Catelyn really surpassed the royal couple's expectations"_ he thought. Not being with his family, his siblings, his father was the most difficult part of that evening. Not being able to joke with Arya, drink with Robb or even just talk with baby Rickon and Bran was extremely painful for him. Not even laying his eyes upon Sansa who was so extraordinary beautiful wearing a woolen grey gown with blue details,that she herself had made for this occasion and only. She had a talent in these things. Her auburn hair were combed in a braid similar to the Queen's. Perhaps it was to honor her or because of the love she bared for the South and its' customs. He preferred her with her auburn, like autumn leaves, curls loose slightly running like a river of fire on her shoulders. " She is far more fair with her hair down that with this silly hairdo like a big bird made a nest on her head" his lip curved upwards at the thought.

  
It wasn't long before his uncle had spotted him. Benjen was a sworn brother of the night's watch and their First Ranger. He had made all the way to Winterell to recruit more men to man Castle Black and to talk with King Robert in sending hands to help the Night's watch. Winter was coming after all. He seemed to fail though with th e King. He discarded him before he even made a word.

  
"Uncle Benjen!!! I am so very glad that you are here with us! I was looking forward hearing stories from your journeys! " Jon exclaimed with anticipation in meeting his uncle. He haven't see him in a very long time

  
" Jon boy! I am also glad ,though i have no good stories to tell you this time. But enough of that, how are you son?" he said with a concerned look upon his face.  
He rushed to answer that question. "Fine, I am fine!" It had became a habbit, a reflex of his when he was being asked how was he.

  
"You know, your father informed me that you wish to join the Night's watch? I have to ask you though Jon. Are you certain? The oath is for life and there is no turning back. You will have a new family there. New Brothers and you won't be able to help your family once you take the black"  
Jon looked above his shoulder to see Sansa with the prick Prince laughing, having a blast. He felt.... Jealousy? No it wasn't jealousy. It was a brother's concern! for sure!

  
"Uncle can we discuss this outside? I really need some air and less noise its a difficult conversation and i need a clear mind. " 

The room was stiff enough, but as soon as the doors opened It was liberatin. He was always fond of the cold and felt as if he belonged

He nearly vomit at the thought of seeing his sister with that Joffrey, who looked like the spitting image of his mother,laughing. Maybe i was because he had a little too much ale, being a bastard noone seemed to mind if you were fooling yourself being drunk or not. But why was he thinking of Sansa with that boy? Was he jealous that he never got to make her laugh like he did? A stranger rather than her own "half - brother" as she was constantly saying.He shook his head trying to make the images leave his head.

  
"Alright Jon now tell me what you have in mind" Benjen told him sternly.

  
Raising his eyes he was almost as if he was pleading Benjen to take him with him."Uncle you know how things can be here for me" 

Benjen laughed making a small cloud, because of the cold."Yes Catelyn can be harsh often towards you.I am quite aware of that." 

"So i have made my decision and talked to my father about it...I want to come with you and join the Night's watch.Much is at stake but i will be the shield, the defender of the realm. I know that i am going to miss my family , but i will be having a new one like you. The place there is my place at the world. I am not going to be Ned Stark's bastard there... Just Jon. that is all i ever wanted i am prepared for it!" He said as steadily as possible trying not to thing of reasons that might change his mind.

  
"A'right then... Let's go back inside to have some fun because you are coming with me. Let us enjoy our last few days here with the warmth of our family"

  
Going back to the great hall, seeing all the faces he was going to miss, he got panicked. How was he supposed to break the news of him becoming a sworn brother? A burden tightly growing in his chest. And then he met those Tully blue eyes staring with concern from the other side of the room.  
_"Watch those eyes now for you might never see them again. Those and many many more."_  
He though she tilted her head as if asking him "What's wrong?". And he made a decision right then and there.

  
_"You will be the first to know.I want you to be. I will make sure of that."_ watching her turning her face directing to the prince. He clenched his cup of ale and took a large sip.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 4 will be uploaded in a few hours!!! Love ya all!


	4. Drunken Fools

Everyone was having tonight, until the next big occasion to be celebrated and this little event will be remembered no longer. At least that is what happens to the North.I was so distacted by Joffrey and his sweet way of talking, his grace in dancing and everything else made him so special to my eyes that it was until then that i gave my attention to the people closest to me and what they occupied themselves with. All of us were free to have our direwolves to the feast under the circumstances that we weren't allowed to feed them any of the food. They were either to be fed before or after the feast. Lady was sitting on my feet the whole evening warming me up, possibly asleep or really really bored by the festivities, But being a proper lady that she was she never made a fuss about it. I shook my feet just to know if she was asleep or not. And with no reaction from her side i took my answer.

  
My sister Arya caught my eye,then. She was cheerful and excited and throwing food with the steward's boy, i cant really recall his name and i blame the wine my sweet Prince made me drink. It was my first time drinking and i felt a little lighter in doing so. Arya was nothing like myself. She was always a wild little thing with so much energy always running or riding. Some times doing both. He was sparring with the boys and asked once my father if she could become a knight,and before my father could tell her a word i advised her against it immediately but she turned and responded me that she did not want to be a lady or learn the courtesies as i was taught. Some said that she was my late aunt Lyanna, she was a great beauty but she was as fierce and hot headed like all of our Stark ancestors. The tale of how Prince Rhaegar Targaryen fell for her and turn his kingdom up was a tale well known by everyone. I imagine Arya was something like her. From the tales i've heard at least.Nymeria was the only one to be left out of the feast because my sister was caught feeding her under the table.

  
"But mother come on now,please! she is hungry and she will get bored without me outside!"she pleaded

  
"No dear, the rules apply for everyone...Jon's direwolf will keep yours company. At least he had the decency to leave him outside!"my mother told Arya in a stern tone.

  
"He did it because you hate him.You are always mean to him and we can't understand why! He didn't want to give you another reason to frown upon him!" my sister screamed and tears came down her eyes then.

  
"That is enough,young lady.Do i need to remind you the reason of this? The Royal family don't need you or any other child going throwing tantrums! Robb! Take Arya to her chambers' please." my mother's begging look rushing Robb to come fetch her, and shaming our family by my sister's wild nature. But i loved the way she dared speak about Jon. I would never do that. I saw Arya, tears falling from her grey eyes and she rushed to wipe them clean on our brother's woolen pauldrons.  
Bran was stroking his unnamed,yet, direwolf fur looking at the kids that were playing in the great hall, and then turned his look to the dancers on the floor. He seemed so happy. His direwolf had a beautiful thick fur that seemed as if it was the colour of the moon. Silver. An by the looks of it,the little pup was enjoying it and i bet he was growling as Bran was stroking his head gently with his little fingers. But then he suddenly stopped, looked at the table where my parents were sited,took a slice of ham on his hand and handed it sneakily to his direwolf's mouth.They locked gazes for a moment and then Bran smiled pleased with himself. He turned his face only to find me giggling with the treacherous act my brother just pulled and his eyes filled with terror. What if i was about to tell my parents what Bran Just did? But i wasn't! I was amused and was having a perfectly great time to ruin it. What would i give to be so bold and feed Lady, but i was too afraid being caught and have her removed ad i really enjoyed the warmth that came from her. "Do not worry! i Won't tell them...Go on...He seems happy when fed! Have you decided a name yet? " I mouthed towards him and a smile appeared upon his face, his direwolf's yellow eyes following his staring at me and waving his tale as if to say thank you! " Not yet i haven't but i surely will soon!" nodded sternly and returned to his little pup.

  
Baby Rickon was fast asleep in his chair and Shaggydog was breathing on his belly trying to keep him somewhat warm. It was not long before a maid came to take him to his own chambers and place him in his bed so he will be able to sleep with peace. When she took him in her arms he opened his eyelids briefly and if you looked close enough you could see the Tully Blue eyes, just as mine were. Just as Robb's and Bran's were. Only Arya was the spitting image of my father. The female version of him anyway. Leaving the table he was sleeping, his direwolf followed behind his maids feet sniffing her. His black fur made him known between the table's and their low voiced criticism. Direwolves were no pets for kids. But we were Starks of Winterfell and the direwolf was our sigil. We were meant to have them.  
Thank the Gods, Theon was nowhere to be found. He was probably at some brothel in the nearest town or even satisfying his constant urges in a cupboard with some maid, in this very castle. I don't even want to know about the things he does.

  
And then it was Robb who had just returned into the hall.Grey Wind was not on his side because he left him with Ghost to keep him company. He really seemed to be enjoying this fist and because of the fact that my parents weren't paying attention he was drinking more than he should have. I saw him sometime this afternoon dancing with my friend Jayne Poole, but it was a long time ago. It makes you wander how fast can you get drunk just by drinking some cups of good ale! He was singing loudly at the end of his table with a girl on his one side following his voice and a lad probably from the south on the other. He was being ridiculous. Was i like him? I began to wonder.With a quick glimpse i noticed than many of the young boys were drunk. And not only were the boys, but older people were also.  
"Your Brother. Robb. He makes a complete fool of himself did he not, now?" Joffrey distracted me from my thoughts. What? Who are you to judge my brother by one single occasion? Did i mention anything about your mother that keeps pouring wine in her glass all night?I wanted to scream at him. I think that my face turned red with anger that very instant.

  
I smiled and replied as kind as i could "My sweet prince, i think it is due to the fact that he has never been on this kind of occasion ever! You can understand how you men are! He tried to impress us, perhaps, by showing that he can handle his drink. Isn't this right? My prince?"  
Again with a grin that seemed a bit...odd he continued his insults towards Robb"My lady, you are holding you wine better than your brother. If anything, like i mentioned, he is making fool of himself not trying to impress us at all"said matter-of-factly. Before i could open my mouth to protest , i felt a gentle stroke and a hand on my shoulder. It was my father. Has he heard the conversation?

  
"Prince Joffrey, may i borrow my sweet daughter for a brief moment?" He asked as kindly as he could although his body language was suggesting something else. He was tense and pressing his fingers in order for me to stand before the prince could give him permission. Just being polite. I got worried then. He was anxious about something. "Of course you can have her, Lord Eddark. She is your daughter after all...You can have her for as long as you wish!" Joffrey said as vacant as the streets this time around Winterfell. Had he grew so bored of me all of a sudden? " Thank you so much,prince Joffrey"  
Taking me to a corner, my mother waiting there like we were about to do something very nasty. They both behaved like children with all this secrecy! "Sansa dear, we took you here, well....because those sober can see that your brother is being a little...carried away. You know drink does that to people. Especially young men! And your brother has been drinking quite a few. I nodded him to stop but he just would not listen to me. Now the King and Queen may not seem bothered, being drunk themselves, but ser Jaimie sure noticed it, as i am sure Joffrey has aswell" and by that last sentence i became red remembering his words that my brother was a fool!

  
"Now listen to me. I want you to do me a favor and take your brother to his bedroom and lay him on his bed. Can you please do that dear? I can not bear if we are to become a joke to tell for the next years".

  
My eyes turned to Robb who was now trying not to throw up apparently. It's kind of funny seeing him like this! He really is hilarious! "Sure but, mother. Robb is a bit heavy for me to carry. I can not do this alone! Maybe You can help me, father?"before i finish my sentence i saw my father shaking his head negatively and my mother looking at me as if she was about to ask me the worst thing in the whole world.

  
"Dear you know how good friends King Robert and i are. I can not leave him alone without tearing this place to the ground though! I can not do it... It would draw to much attention for you mother also to help you." And all of a sudden something like a lightning bolt light up his face"Catelyn, please, bear with me just this once. You've said it your self people will mock us if he continues to be on this feast. Let Jon help Sansa take Robb to his bed. He will stay also to watch over him and you will feel better won't you? Jon not being here." my father's eyes trying to catch a glance of approval from my mother. "If that is the case i shall allow it!" my mother said still eyeing me. It was not a grave request and i wanted to do it. Robb seemed like he needed a hand and Jon was the only help that made sense indeed.

  
Practically running, my father went to the corner that Jon was, as always, sulking.He seemed also kind of drunk himself and caught by surprise when father had gone. So he talked and he listened looking more confused than ever, looking towards me, then Robb, then my mother and then he asked something my father, probably if my mother gave her consent because my father shook his head in agreement. I caught his lips saying "Alright father" and then Ned raised his hand and ordered to go there. I looked mother and i reassured her that nothing was going to change. As i was walking through the crowd all i could see was his eyes.

Struggling with something. Seven hells just tell it already. I am a dread to be around and you don't wish to participate! This is it! You hate me and everyone knows it. You are no better than i am.

  
"Alright now remember this must be done in the most discreet way! I beg of you!" Our father told and we both nod our heads. With this he turned and made his way back to his seat. I turned my head to see him already watching the back of my head with this look stamped on his face. He really must hate me  
"So i will go to steady him from one side and as soon as he is up you will get a good hold on him right be-beneath the....Are you with me Jon? You seem kind of lost?" he jumped as if i had scared him,i distraught him from his thoughts whatever they were.  
"Yes yes, my lady i am so very sorry. It is just that i myself had a drink or two and i am kind of elsewhere" he added with a grin.  
"I need you focused on the task. I had also a few drinks but please let us just say focused....as i was saying..." I tried to explain the plan to him the best i could, and finally we managed to get Robb on his feet. And we made our exit, seeming rather foolish. Two kids carrying a drunken boy... But no one seemed to notice.They were all having fun.

  
We did not say a word to one another as much as i wanted him to talk to me.

  
Just walking the corridor avoiding the prying eyes, trying to shut Robb's mouth from time to time because he started signing in the most awful voice. I am not going to lie, i checked him more than once, trying to get him to talk to me.Really talk to me. I couldn't ask him...How could i? I didn't speak to him for so long.  
Arriving he murmured something about me opening the door, so i followed his request and he placed Robb to his bed.  
I closed the door and got inside so i could check on Robb.

  
It was so comfortable and quite and warm. It was the first time that i missed this quiet. I sat on a sofa next to Robb's bed and started to rub my neck. All the exhaustion from all these days just came ashore.

  
After my third rub i opened my eyes to find Jon sitting at the edge of his bed, hands rubbing his forehead, fighting an inner battle.

  
"Jon is there something you wish to tell me?"my voice was demanding, and i continued to rub my neck. The pain only stiffened.

  
It seemed like i woke him up with that question. " Not really...I-I....well you had fun tonight with kings son, didn't you?"

  
I dont know why but he sounded kind of bitter saying it.He looked bitter.I unlocked my grip from behind my head."Yes indeed i had and i do not wish you ruin it with all this brooding. Tell me now what is it?"

"Sansa....It is difficult. I wanted you to be the first to know... but i-i just can't do this"

  
I was surprised. I was the first to know what? "What of your precious little sister Arya? She is after all your favourite"where did THIS came from? Why couldn't i stop my thought before exiting my mouth? The air was getting thicker and thicker and i couldn't breathe properly.

  
He sat better in his bead and he had the look of a hurt person on his grey eyes."Don't be like that....You know i love all my siblings even you"  
"Oh is it so? EVEN myself? well done half-brother...Just so you know you aren't doing great job in showing it!" I said as i urged myself standing heading to the door.I had to leave. I could barely breathe now... my torso was coming up and down and up again more and more rapidly with each breath.  
"Sansa... you were the one that shut me out when you found out remember? And i understood honestly i still do.I never told you a thing. I left you to live your life with your decisions...Don't turn this on me now!" he said angrily to my back.

  
Trying to hold the tears i faced him as blankly as i could at the moment. You idiot! I wanted to be part of your life. That was my inner desire! Always has been! But that i managed to keep on the inside, but there I screamed it to his face.

  
"Now listen to me please, Don't make this harder than it already is for me. I am taking the black. I don't think you will understand but it means the world to me. Even if you don't care at all i wanted you to be the first to know this secret of mine. I am going away with uncle Benjen in a few days and I hope we could make amends. Please?"

  
It came as no surprise but i knew he wanted it long time ago. I over heard father talking to Robb trying to put him and convince him not to go. And the announcement came just as i thought it would. I was dying inside. I was never going to see him again. I couldn't stay apathetic to that,but i was born to be a lady and have proper manners.We were never that close anyway. Not like as i was with Robb.

  
A tear escaped then and i said "Fair well half brother. Don't bother to say your Goodbyes when you leave for castle black". He took a stand and charged himself in front of me his face filling up with all kinds of emotions.He raised his finger to take that tear off of my cheek. But I closed my eyes and stopped him. Aggression and sadness being the most vibrant emotions that had a hold on me I looked at his eyes.That was going to be the last time. I turned my face to the door,opening it and with a swift move I got out of that room,Closing the door I wasn't in the mood to return to the party. I headed to the coldness of my chambers and as soon as i got inside my tears came down like rivers.


	5. Worst ale.

  
Sansa was just sitting there....Staring at Brienne....Dumb folded..."What happened in Winterfell?" She had just asked....What should she say to her? That this monster abused her? That she was enduring it all ,only for the day to watch him suffer as much as she did every night that he forced himself on her, and every day that her wounds reopened from the night before (and some of them from previous nights) along with new ones that she had to endure brand new. It was not a subject Sansa was willing to discuss,with anyone to be frank. So she just sat there...Why didn't she leave with her before all this misfortune fell on her?

  
"I should have left with you while i had the change" Sansa admitted to Brienne.

"It was a difficult choice, my lady. You didn't know." Brienne said nodding her head.

  
Winterfell was the home that Sansa grew up in, but it was nothing like she knew. Everything had changed.She wanted nothing more than to escape this hell hole Ramsay Bolton had created. Sansa will burn the place to the ground and will rebuild it herself when she will take him down...Oh she sure will! If it is the last thing to do,she shall have her vengeance.

  
Theon seemed upset when Sansa turned her head to watch him, going on paces that made no sense,as if he was trying to think about something. Sansa rose then. He seemed upset that they were on our path to Castle Black. She would not let anyone touch Theon. He had suffered enough. He deserved some of the things that befell him, but some of them were just too much for anyone to handle.  
He was broken. All could see that. But all she could see in his eyes was remorse.  
He then told her that he wouldn't be joining Sansa not Brienne and Podrick. He would have died to get Sansa there, but he wouldn't stay. He wanted to go home. And she allowed him because she knew how it was to long for home.

 

  
\----------------------------------------------------  
**Jon**

Ever since he was brought back he felt like he didn't belong. Like he was not supposed to be here. The was a void growing and growing and nothing could make him satisfied. Ed was in the room with him while he was packing his stuff.

He asked him where he was going to go.....Where indeed?

  
"South" He answered all of a sudden, not giving into such thought to the matter

  
"What are you gonna do?" Edd urgently asked as long as he got his answer to the first question.

  
"Get warm"he answered with a slight grin. Jon knew what Edd was thinking.How could you leave me here after everything we've been through in this gods forsaken place. With the things,that we've seen, marching south of the Wall, coming with the long night to make us fall in the endless darkness?

  
It didn't took long before Edd confirmed what Jon was sure he was thinking. He wasn't all that hard to read after all...

  
Before they even realised it they caught in a never ending argument about how he was betrayed by his own kin and how his watch and his vows had ended with his previous life. Before the darkness he felt he was in for what seemed like eons.

  
And then....the horn was blowing. "OPEN THE GATES" a distant voice could be heard as they were both heading to the window although Jon took the lead.It was blown once which meant that a ranger had returned. That could mean that there was a possibility of being Benjen. His heart skipped a beat by that thought and he starting pacing fast to be outside at once.

 

  
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"OPEN THE GATES"

That was the last thing Sansa heard while she was outside Castle Black. The wind was howling so any noise right about then would be pleasant. When the man stopped shouting, the heavy weight door moved with a squeaking sound so loud they could barely stand it. She was going mounted on a horseback and when they reached the middle of the courtyard she turned my head around, hesitantly, searching for those familiar eyes and raven black curls. All Sansa could see though were worn out men that seemed to belong in the Night's Watch and heavy dressed people seeming rather...savage. They were wildlings no doubt.

  
She unmounted her horse and looked at the gate surprised by its height and probably thought to herself that it was impenetrable. When Sansa looked the other way, her eyes stuck on a small balcony just above her eyesight. She felt a vibe in the air. There was Jon, looking down on her. She knew it before she laid eyes on him, as if they were sharing a special bond. He wasn't like the boy Sansa had watched leaving that day,their ways to be parted forever, as they were both certain of. Or as it appears,they were destined to meet again. He never went to say goodbye. Just like Sansa told him that night, when he announced her that he was going to take the black soon. He tried to approach her many times the next days but Sansa tried to avoid him with everything that came into her attention at that moment. She couldn't bare the thought of him gone. He was her brother after all. Half brother....She saw him taking a step back and then waking down the stairs with a look of disbelief stuck on his face.

  
The man standing a few meters away from Sansa was nothing like she remembered. He was more muscular and his figure leaner. His curls had grown and she thought to herself that that was why he was forced to take it all behind to a bun , in order to help him with training,fighting or even just talking and planning strategies.

  
Sansa was stressed. She could not believe that she made it this far. To him. Watching his expressions something told her that he couldn't believe that she was right in front of him, either.

 

His eyes the entire time were locked on hers, as if they were going to vanish if not staring at each other.

  
Sansa breathed in anticipation. She wanted to run to him, wanted to hold him but something seemed to pull her back.

  
"To Hell with that" she wanted to scream for everyone to hear. Sansa started running towards him, and he mirrored her action to meet her half way. They crashed on each other,their embrace getting tighter and tighter by the minute.He was stroking her ribs,trying to calm her down as it appears but all she could do was breathe him in. He smelled like a pine tree, if that was even possible. Gripping tightly from him Sansa took a step back to examine him closely. He seemed older than his age. Having so many troubles must do that to a person,ye t his smile was genuine like when they were kids. He was examining her as well, with his eyes taking quick glances of every feature of her face. Sansa couldn't take her eyes off of him and when he locked his gray eyes with her blue ones,all she could see was a sparkle not being there before.

  
The corner of his mouth arched a bit upwards, his eyes leaving hers to watch her one more time.

  
"I-I can't believe it. I ha....Words fail me right now. Let us get you warmed up please" he said taking Sansa into his arms, folding her like she was a sparrow needing protection from the cold.

  
And she was, but she needed protection from something other than cold. A monster. A vicious monster. Could she ever begin to tell him what happened to her during her time in Winterfell under the rule of Ramsay? Would he,then, see her as anything more than broken? Sansa felt his embrace getting tighter and tighter as they were walking inside.

  
It was,as she was always dreaming,so sweet to see him again. It felt like home. Truly 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He took her to her chambers, the warmer one of the castle was hers to pass the night. He gave orders to the stewards to take good care of Sansa for as long as she would like stay there.

  
"The water will be ready in a minute. I was just informed by a steward. We are all but men here, sister, and we do not have any maids to attend you so if you would like me to call for Lady Brienne to accompany and take care of you for as long as you are going to take your bath?" he asked in a hurry trying to leave the room and herself to relax by the long journey he thought Sansa had. He had the slightest idea what she'd been through and how much she wanted to relax without being afraid, with his company nonetheless.

  
"If you'd be so kind Jon, yes i would love to have her by my side, although she is anything but my maid. You have done more than enough Jon. Thank you so much" Sansa answered him as he was already on the porch trying to take his leave, giving her an embarrassed nod.

  
"Oh, Jon?"Sansa called after him raising her hand leaving it hanging mid air.

  
His head made an appearance through the heavy,oaken door.

"Yes, my lady?" he asked,his looks confused

  
"Please call me Sansa next time. I will not tolerate anything but my name. Not sister and certainly NOT my lady." she said to him with a smile upon her face. It was the first sincere smile Sansa had given anyone for a long time now.

  
He laughed in amusement, as she was smiling back at him finally saying " We have an accord then, Sans" lingering on her name for a bit,betting he was testing it on his mouth.That was what Robb used to call her. She really was home. He nodded shyly and made his exit.

  
All Sansa could think was about that hot bath he had promised her and nothing more in that exact moment.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------

He was waiting her for supper, and when Sansa arrived he was poking at the fire. The room was warm enough for that afternoon but also warm enough for the night it was about to come. Two bowls of soup were served on the table as well as two cups. The one was filled with what seemed like ale. Retrieving himself form the fire he saw Sansa standing by the porch, the door still half open behind her.

  
"Sans, hello again" He approached to close the door with a smile on his face. "Were you pleased by the provided accommodations? Are you well-rested?" He asked while he was placing an arm on her back, guiding her by the fireplace where two stools were gently pushing her down.

  
"It is more than enough, i really do wish to thank you,Jon" she said as honestly as she could. He was being too kind. Ηe handed her over a bowl of soup with his right hand while holding a cup of ale with his other one. Sansa took it and started taking sips of the soup. She found it particularly tasty, with all that spices, as a way of keeping the people that were shielding the realm, warm.

  
Sansa turned her face to the right and found him having taken place beside her on the stool, examining her as if he couldn't believe she was there. He gave her a small smile. The stone room seemed to get a lot warmer now.

  
"That is a good soup" Sansa managed to tell him. The next things that popped into her mind was of old Nan's pies with the peas and onions. She asked him if he remembered and he did, all too well. There was a silent moment between them.

  
"We never should have left Winterfell" he said. It was like he had read her mind.Sansa was thinking the same thing and he just spoke the words. Both taking different roads. Her being the naive little girl thinking that she could be a Queen,in the hands of one sadistic monster to the other, married off twice.

  
And him...only before their supper Brienne had told Sansa that she found out that Jon had been beyond the Wall , fought with the wildlings. Rumors have it that he also fought the Others but that seemed rather unlikely since she knew it to be just stories to frighten the children. White Walkers haven't appeared for the last eight thousand years.

  
"Don't you wish we could go back to the day we left?" the question just popped through Sansa's mouth as she was very distracted by the dancing fire of the fireplace. "I wanted to scream at my self Don't go you Idiot!"

"How could we know?" he answered.

  
Then she turned her gaze and confessed." I've spent a lot of time thinking of how i always was treating you.....I want you to forgive me Jon"  
"There's nothing to forgive!" he urged to stop me.

  
"Forgive me" Sansa said again with a smile on her face this time because they were being playful with one another.

  
"A'right...A'right i forgive you!" He said his gray eyes seeming so happy.

She couldn't hold back then. She had to know what he had been through.

  
"Jon? I want you to tell me everything that have befallen you since the day we parted"

  
He started to sulh and she was waiting for him to tell her what she have missed not being there with him. And he did...He told her everything. About how he tried to go to find their uncle, all the things he had to do to gain Mance's favor, that he climbed the Wall with the wildlings, their invasion on Castle Black when he managed to arrive, about the White Walkers that apparently were not an old story. "That is what i had thought at first too...that it was but a story...but it is not" he told Sansa in a bitter tone. And last but not least about his death at the hands of his brother's and his resurrection by the Red Lady. It was not too much for Sansa. She believed every word that came out of his mouth. He had no reason to lie. The rumors were true after all.

  
Then Sansa told him about her painful adventures. About being betrothed to Joffrey and how awful he treated her, their father's death, her false marriage with Tyrion Lannister, the accusation of killing the Prince and being sold to Ramsay Bolton as his wife. The terrible things she had to endure of this monster's hands.  
The time had passed then and Sansa felt a little bit exhausted. She would not say no to a good sleep.

Raising her hand she asked for his cup,which by the looks of it, seemed to have some ale left inside.

  
He handed to her with a smirk on his face,and as she took a sip it was the worst ale Sansa could have tasted. He burst out laughing so did she as she tried , in between , to hide her chokes.

  
Few moments later Sansa finally asked him "Where will you go?"

  
He looked at her and said "Where will we go? If i don't watch you over,our father's ghost will come back and murder me" forming a small grin.  
"Where will we go?" Sansa mirrored his question nodding her head.

  
"Cant stay here...not after what happened" he told and turned his eyes to the fire.

  
"There's only one place we can go...Home!"she replied him matter-of-factly.

  
"What should we tell the Bolton's to pack up and leave? " he said with a childish voice.  
"We will take it back from them"

  
He was taken by surprised...he didn't expect her to exclaim these words. Letting the thought sink in he replied as sullen as ever "I don't have an army"  
After a bit of a disagreement and raised voices darting to one another she couldn't help it any longer. Sansa was so tired.

  
"I think i shall retire now. I am rather worn out. Think about it please Jon. I want my home back, with or without your help" and paced to the door open it to find a snow storm raging outside. Thanking the Gods her chambers weren't that far a war.

  
He made a move to escort her, but she raised her hand to stop him right there. "I can take it by my self Jon. Please stay here... try to decide whether you will help me or not''. Sansa's eyes fell on the table when his soup grew cold. He had barely touched his own food and she felt a bit responsible,talking of war so soon.  
''Please have some rest yourself and eat this before it gets any colder '' and with her last words she closed the door with a thud leaving him angry from their previous rivalry about Winterfell. 


	6. The Letter

The next few days pass by...Some of them were as peaceful as sleep others,well, not so much. When Sansa brought up the situation of Winterfell,Jon was always changing the subject and avoid the fact that they had to fight for what was theirs. They had to fight for their home. That Ramsay had Sansa constantly on pain just to satisfy his sickness.

It was then, a winter's noon that a rider came to Castle Black. He had the banner of a flaying man on his back. Bolton's sigil. They were taking their not-so-great lunch at that time. Sansa was trying to keep her eyes away from Jon.They were fighting before their lunch. Again. He always was saying that he was tired of fighting.And of course, Sansa understood that. But they had to take their home back. And she would...with or without his help. That is the part he doesn't understand. That all she is simply asking is for him to join her. Sansa would never ask of him to fight any wars.

Sansa caught herself examining a piece of what seemed to be pork in her stew. Edd, Jon and Tormund were devouring their food, no matter how bad it tasted.

"Sorry about the food. It's not what we are known for" Edd told Sansa, watching her playing with her food, lost on thoughts. It was irrelevant.She would have looked lemon cakes the same way she was looking at the current stew. She was so lost to planning how it was going to be when she was about to start this war against Ramsay. So Sansa looked at him and gave him a smile "That's alright...There are more important things" said watching Jon with the corner of her eyes. He seemed rather disturbed by her statement but it didn'r matter. A man all in black entered the room then and handed Jon a parch of paper rolled and with a flayed men sealing it."A message for you,Lord Commander"

"I am not Lord Commander anymore" he said with determination yet bitternes in his voice. He took it from the man's hands and nodded.Sansa was trying not to look at him that much but failed miserably. It was so hard not to watch his every move. She had missed him so much and it didn't matter how much they were fighting at the end of the day he was still her family. He took the seal off not looking at the paper directly, as if he knew what written in it.

"To the traitor and Bastard Jon Snow" he started reading.

"You allowed thousands of wildlings past the Wall,you have betrayed your own kind,you have betrayed the North,Winterfell is mine bastard, come and see ..."Reading that he placed himself better in his seat as if he was uneasy with what he was reading.

"Your brother Rickon is in my dunge....." he raised his eyes to lock them on Sansa's and she was sure that he saw her surprise,fear and even her struggle to hold back her tears with this new information. Sansa was in shock... Rickon was alive. In the hands of this monster. Oh their sweet little brother! The awful things he must have done to him. How much more was he suppose to torment her? Mentally as well as physically. Sansa was exhaling in terror as she imagined the things Rickon had to endure.  
"...his direwolf's skin is on my floor, come and see...I want my bride back,send her to me bastard and I will not trouble you or your wildling lovers.Keep her from me and I will ride north and slaughter every wildling man, woman, and babe living under your protection. You will watch as I skin them living, you w....."

Silence then.

It must have been something in there about Sansa.There is no other explanation why he stopped all of a sudden. "Go on"

He rushed to close the letter "It's more of the same"

''No it isn't''Sansa replyed him in her head....She couldn't start a fight with all these eyes in there.

Took the letter from his hands, started reading it aloud for everyone to hear of the monster that has a held on their baby brother and their home. Jon eyed her as if he didn't want to hear the words. It hurt her, and it hurt him more.She knew it did, by his stance.

"...you will watch as my soldiers take turn raping your sister,you will watch as my dogs devour your wild little brother,then I will spoon your eyes from their sockets and let my dogs do the rest . come and see...Ramsay Bolton, Lord of Winterfell, Warden of the North." Jon was unsettle he was constantly moving rage was building up inside him,Sansa could tell by the redness of his face.  
They watched him and Sansa wanted to scream her thoughts to him.  
"You do understand now, what i am up against, don't you Jon? In what seems to me like a blur all i can think of is what will i do to make the bastard pay for what he did and what he is about to do."she thought to herself as if she was talking directly at him.

After Tormund stated about his people being two thousand Jon turned his face and looked at Sansa. His face was sad, he had a grimace of disgust as if he didn't want to do it. Just the speaking of it made his nauseated,Sansa was sure of that. He had lost so many people during the wars he had fought. He couldn't do it anymore... Just one last wars she promise him silently."Help me take down this sadistic pig...Be by myside,I beg of you." she kept thinking like a prayer.

"You are the son of the last true warden of the North, Northern families are loyal, they'll fight for you if you ask. "Sansa managed to tell him at last.

Without thinking it, she took his hand on her hand, his whole body pointed at her. His touch was soft and light and Sansa was stroking his nuckles while she said that to him, eyes locked once more,like noone else was in the room with them. "A monster has taken our home and our brother. We have to go back to Winterfell and save them both" tried not to pay attention to his grip that had become more confident and tighter. Sansa was only looking at him. He was tormented looking everywhere else as if he was trying to understand the situation. He looked again on her and nodded in agreement...They were going to take that bastard down.

 

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They were passing their every evening to the company of Brienne,Edd,Pod and Tormund. But that afternoon they were not. They were together. Them. He was sitting on a wooden stool by the fire, that he had lit earlier, just staring at the flames dancing. How magnetizing his grey eyes were. Sansa couldn't help but look at him. He was so much like their father. Never talking much, never expressing his feelings, his fears. He was always been described as sad, but Sansa couldn't see it. All she could see was an inner fire that burned within him. He was cautious enough to contain it. He was so beautiful,so brave. The things he had to endure. The inner strength he had is miraculous! He is like the knights Sansa used to read about when she was all too naive to believe in them. But what if there really were knights? What if Jon was one of them?

"What's wrong Sansa?" He asked, his face light up with the most beautiful grin a man could have. "Why are you smirking?" he asked with playful voice.

She was smirking because she was thinking of him, not in a way she was thinking Robb ever. Sansa haven't thought anyone for quite some time like that to be honest. But it was so very wrong. He is her brother. No,no there is nothing wrong about admiring him. Because that is what she did. Sansa was admiring his strength.She left his leather jerking of black colour with multiple stab wounds, she was currently mending on the floor.She didn't understand why he hadn't mend it for so long. It was like he wanted to remember that he was betrayed by his own kind, as if this was giving him reason to hold on. He seemed rather confused, maybe because it took her too long to answer him or even move at all...."Stupid!" she thought "You are still a stupid little girl!"

"No-no....its nothing i was just thinking....." He never took his eyes away from hers, smiling when she paused to settle herself on the couch in a better posture "Go on then tell me, if you please."

" It is just.... i don't know how to put it" she stood and walked to his direction, their eyes never breaking contact. He set his stance straight as Sansa was approaching.She knelt just in front of him, not minding if she got to stain woolen sapphire dress,with the beautiful silver emblem of house Stark, that she made a few moons before. Sansa took his hands on hers and it was then when she broke eye contact to watch as their hands intertwined, sending chills down her spine. He appeared a little nervous as she did. Sansa mumbled then "Jon it is just...I know i ask a lot from you. I know that you do not wish to fight but you do not understand that i will do it anyway i just want you there with me. I've been through hell and it is nice to feel that i have people that i can trust beside me. I know we did not have the greatest relationship growing up but i think you will be glad to know that i do trust you more than i do with myself even. Our brother is held captive. I am trying to pull myself together but i can't" trying to hold back her tears.

He then released his right hand and took her chin to his hands,raised it and with a voice like honey, a voice she had never heard before he spoke " My dear, dear Sans, you are so unique in your own way. You are a very very smart young woman that men would follow till death. You are also, very strong. You are a Stark and will not let that sadistic pig get into your head. And if he already has i will not allow it anymore. We shall take our home back, we will save our brother and we will all be united once more. I will see to that. Please don't think like that. I have you and you have me. We are in this together, and believe me little wolf, when i say that you are the most stubborn yet fierce lady i have ever known. More fierce than Arya sometimes.But it comes as no surprise. You are like the sun and moon, father used to say."

Hearing those words Sansa broke to tears because she was everything but her fierce little wolf sister. She was broken. Ramsay's got a hold on her that she couldn't shake off yet. And she wanted him to know that she was so very happy he was with her.She missed Arya and Bran and Rickon, her father, her mother and Robb.But Jon was something else entirely. His thumb was raised to clean a tear from her cheek stroking it after he had wiped it out and she leaned on to his touch. Warm and soft.

"Whatever you want i will be here by your side please try to remember that, alright Sans?"

Sansa nodded. She wasn't willing to let go just yet but he rose from his stool, took her by her arms and placed her right in front of him, cupping her face saying "You need some rest. Will you let me take you to your chambers Sans?"

She nodded in agreement.

When they reached her chambers she turned to face him but tried to avoid his gaze "Thank you so much. For everything!"

He pressed his lips on her forehead and all he said was "Have some rest and we will talk tomorrow. Good night my red wolf" pressing his lips,that were lightly pressing a kiss not a moment before, on my gloved hand and turned away his figure disappearing in the snow.All she could thing of was the kisses on her forehead and hand that were blazing like he had branded her as his.


	7. Blue winter Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ιt's been a while, hope you enjoy

Sansa always kept herself distracted trying not to think or intervene in Jon's plans. It was very difficult. She had almost repaired every soldier's breeches and tunics that needed her sewing skills. She had already sewed multiple dresses for herself, and it was about time to give Jon a gift, for helping her with everything and ,of course,as a gift for being a complete idiot when they were growing up.

Since he wasn't bowed by his vows anymore it wasn't necessary to wear that black cloak. He should have a new one to remind him of his family. Of Home.

She was cut by a letter that came with Brienne. It had a mocking bird seal so Sansa understood immediately the content as well as the sender. It was that cunning Littlefinger. The same that had her given away in Ramsay to secure his alliances. Sansa met him with Brienne escorting her and flirted with the idea to have her kill him right that instant.She wouldn't mind. He was the reason all the tragedies that befell their family for so long now. She would not be a pawn anymore.She won't tolerate this. Sansa shall have her vengeance, but it won't start today.She needed the proper timing. She was taught a great many things from him. Now it was not the time for him to die.

"Go back to Moat Cailin, my brother and I will take back the North on our own i never want to see you again!"

He tried to atone himself by telling her that her uncle Brynden, the Blackfish as they called him, had retaken Riverrun. That was a useful information as long at it was true. He exited then, and Sansa took a deep breath of relief. She din't want him anywhere near her.

Returning back to Castle Black she saw Jon coming to her. "Sans!" He yelled as she was far away from him to hear him properly with the snow raging at that moment and the winds blew cold and it felt like daggers as it lightly kissed her cheeks.

"I am having a meeting later on, will you be able to attend?" Jon asked her when she got to close enough to hear him.

"Yes , of course" Sansa answered with a smile. She was glad he thought to invite her.

"Come on inside now. You must be freezing! Where were you?"  
Sansa looked him in the eye never answering his question. He dropped his face then looking as sullen as ever. She wanted to tell him. She didn't want him to think that she doesn't trust him. He wouldn't be able to trust her if Sansa told him where she was.  
Brienne, Ser Davos, Edd, Tormund, Lady Mellisandre, Jon and Sansa were sited around the table with a map of the North in front of them and something that seemed like a war plan. The problem being was that they didn't have enough men to fight this war against the Boltons. Of course the problem was also the White Walkers that were lurking beyond the Wall. They had to defend North from them also. It was indeed very difficult. Ser Davos mentioned the other noble Houses of the North. They didn't know the North like Sansa did. Or like Jon did. He suggested they could start from the small houses of theie region. To start small.  
"The North remembers. They remember the Stark name, people will still risk everything for it from White harbor to Ramsay's own door." Sansa declared in almost frustration. She didn't know what had a hold on her but she was fuming. Maybe it was those eyes Sansa constantly felt being on her back eyeing her. Testing her limits maybe.She was impatient.  
" I don't doubt it, but Jon doesn't have the Stark name" Ser Davos told, looking at Jon at the moment.

"No, but i do" Sansa answered almost instantly, without hesitating. She, then, foolishly let it slip that her uncle has retaken Riverrun. Everyone were suspicious.  
"How did you know that?" Jon asked his whole body turned towards her, but she constantly was trying to avoid him, not to let him understand that she was lying about the information and how it occurred to her. After the meeting was over, Brienne expressed her disapproval on the matter but they couldn't do anything. She asked Sansa why she'd lied to him. Sansa trusted Jon. She didn't trust herself that is why she lied to him. Sansa sent Brienne go to her uncle to seek help.  
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It was something off about her...He had noticed that she always were jumpy and when someone else tried to make conversation with her she was seemed rather frustrated. All she wanted to do was fix every cloth that everyone were wearing. From tunics to breeches, from leather to silk.She even made new ones out of this air for the brothers of the Night's watch.  
He was always looking at her. Although she was so much like her mother there were many differences between them that he hadn't notice before, maybe because she always treated him as a stranger.  
She had been through so much, she was nothing like he remembered. She always dreamed of becoming a Queen and being married with a gallant King and have many children.  
A proper lady she was, always singing and dancing, being anything but a lady as it was expected of her, as the first daughter of warden of the North.  
But Sansa Stark that was almost every day with him, was nothing like that. She was brave, courageous. She was steel.  
But that beauty of her was growing and growing so fast. No man in castle Black could avert their eyes from her. She was a sight for sore eyes. Jon thanked the gods that these men had taken a vow not to bed women. On the other hand though, that vow was easy to break but not in this very place with him watching over her.  
He had heard men talking about Sansa, not in very well behaved manner. He didn't hesitate to break the teeth off of one just to make an example. But it wasn't only to keep his sister honor intact. He fealt Jealousy as well. He often caught himself thinking about her high cheekbones and how much he wanted to stroke them with his fingers,her vivid blue eyes that were always shinning as bright as the summer sky and her thick auburn hair, reminding him of his past love he held for Ygritte.  
Walking towards him, he snapped of his day dreaming about her and noticed that she was holding a long black leather and a brown fur cloak.  
As his eyes travelled higher from the cloak, he couldn't miss the beautiful dress that she was wearing. It was nothing like he had seen her wear before. A deep blue, velvet gown that brought out the blue if her eyes and made her auburn hair even harder to miss.

"New dress?" Jon asked.

"Yes i made it myself, do you like it?" Her Tully blue eyes shinning brightly with pride.

He didn't know what to answer. It seemed like he had a lump on his throat.  
"Yea....its..... I-I like the wolf bit" words finally escaping his mouth.He couldn't take his eyes off of her. His eyes travelled from top to toe. "She is so beautiful!" He thought to himself and quickly added "Your SISTER!" just to keep his mind from making sceneries that weren't proper.

"Good! 'Cause i...made this for you" she said as she raised the cloak, giving him a little grin.

He took it on his right hand paying attention to the small direwolf that was embroidered on the leather straps. House Stark's direwolf.  
"I made it like father used to wear. As near as i could remember" while she started talking with pride her voice became distant, as if she was saddened by the fact that she forgot how her father's cloak really was.

He couldn't say anything rather that a simple "Thank you, Sansa" and he meant it with all his heart.  
"You are welcome" she replied.  
He stood there, thinking what this gift meant. Maybe nothing at all, maybe that it was some kind of a gift to rekindle their relationship. One thing was certain. It meant the world to him.  
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Lady Mormont was one of the few that after a lot of talking gave them some of her men. 62 to be exact. That was not the number to take down the Bolton army. A couple thousands from the wildlings wouldn't win this fight.  
They had met with Ramsay that evening and Sansa felt only one thing. Nauseated. He was a monster as always and when she laid my eyes on him her skin crawled. But she was determined. That monster was going to die. One way or another. Sansa wouldn't have him take her again to this shit hole he had made her home. The castle they grew up in and made so many memories. It was theirs and they would claim it back no matter what.  
They were at Jon's tent while they were making fighting plans the battle that would come tomorrow. They didn't have the right amount of men to win this fight, everybody knew that. They should be cautious.  
Soon everyone were outside the tent and it was only Sansa and Jon inside. She was fuming. He would not listen to her. She knew who Ramsay was yet no one seem to notice her warnings. They should not focus on how to get Rickon back because that is what he wanted them to do. Sansa told him the hard truth that they had to leave their brother behind.  
They were yelling at each other frantically now, heavy breathing and she wanted to tuck her nails to his flesh just to get his attention and make him understand that he was going to make a fatal mistake. Sansa retreated not being able to stand this situation.

"If Ramsay wins, I am not going back there alive" Sansa stated. " Do you understand me?"

"I won't ever let him touch you again" he replied firmly enough. And Sansa believed him for a second."I'll protect you, I promise". But his words were something she kept getting and she needed action this time. Sansa needed his protection.

"No one can protect me, No one can protect anyone" and left the tent and went straight to take a raven and sent a letter to Littlefinger to get the Knights of the Vale to her assistance. Sansa was about to make the biggest mistake of her life. Yet not doing would lead them to theiw downfall.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Sansa arrived to the battlefield neither early nor late but just in the right time. To help them and maybe even rescue them. They were cornered by Ramsay's fleet in the center and there was nothing they could do to stop it. And Sansa helped them. The look on Ramsay's face from afar was precious. The look of defeat. A taste of his own medicine. Fear. Jon was eyeing him so was Tormund and Wun Wun and also Sansa but from a distance as she could not yet ride that close. Bodies were still being toss right and left. Men from Ramsay's army they were. He retrieved then with Jon, Tormund and Wun Wun chasing him. Sansa pulled the bridles so hard and she started riding so fast she could not understand what happened around her. She heard Petyr's voice calling out to her but it was too late. She was long gone. And could not think straight because all she wanted was her vengeance. Wanting to see him suffer. When she arrived on Winterfell and rode off of her horse Sansa saw Jon punching Ramsay ferociously.  
Jon had blood all over his face and he was taking revenge for all the bad things that happened to their family from the Boltons. He was lost. He was blood lust. He wanted to end him right that second. Then he locked his eyes with Sansa's. At first not understanding who was she, turning briefly his face from her until he had to check one more time to figure out who he was looking at. His fist rested mid air, trying to read Sansa's face. Jon thought that she wanted to end him.She wanted to kill him with all her will. But in that moment She wasn't so sure. If Sansa did it would be no better than those murderers yet this one person deserved to die. By her hands whatsoever. Jon searched Sansa's face to give him answer as if to unburden her. Another killing was not going to be much for Jon but for Sansa...Her first kill would change her forever. And he wanted to take that burden off of her.  
"Take him to the dungeons" He ordered his men and passed fast to her direction cupping Sansa;s face with his bloody hands.She couldn't break their eye contact. He did though, searching her face.

"Are you alright, sweetling?". That was the first time he had called Sansa like that, for a very long time. Her stomach turned into a knot. Sansa couldn't answer, so instead she nodded. Sweat blood and mud was all over him but all she wanted to do was leap into his embrace and be left there.  
The body of their brother Rickon, laying soulless came through the front door and they couldn't bear but to start crying. Their little brother was now dead. He was about to be with their ancestors.

"Take him to the crypts. I will see to it , in a moment. After that take the Bolton banners and replace it with Stark banners. Immediately" he gave the order and wiped the tears away from her face and taking Sansa into a tight embrace."Everything is going to be alright. We are home Sans"  
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The days past and they were constantly together. He was probably cautious after what she had done to Ramsay. He feared if something in her snapped. But nothing happened. Sansa was relieved. And grateful, more than words can describe that they were finally home without this evil monster harassing anyone. Their rooms were the one next to the other, after that hideous fight about who should have mother and father's bedroom. They decided together that they would take the ones next to each other instead of one floor apart. It was the same day that Sansa announced that a white raven came from the citadel, a white one. "Winter is here" she told Jon. He looked Sansa, flashed a smile and looked at the sky. "Well, father always promised" It was but a moment before when his lips has placed a gentle kiss on Sansa's forehead, staying there longer that usual. His touch still lingers just behind her ear, where he had placed his hand to steady Sansa's head. Jon's eyes then looking at hers then,coming down to what seem it was her mouth and she was watching him, trying to understand what he was thinking but she got nothing. His eyes traveled back to her again and nodded.

All those memories of that day before came to her mind as they were now sitting on the Great table with all the houses of the North just beneath them. A chaos that was. It was until lady Lyanna came forth and spoke words that deserved to be heard throughout the North not just Winterfell.

"...The North remembers! We know no King, but the King in the North whose name is Stark. I don't care if he's a bastard. Ned Stark's blood runs through his veins. He's my King from this day until his last day" Lady Lyanna practically screamed for all of them to hear. Jon on Sansa's right, seemed rather unsettled. Why would he be though? He earned this! He deserved this! He was a Stark as much as Sansa was. She wanted no place to rule the North or any other region for that matter and he seemed capable for great things. The hall suddenly became all frantic and they were chanting "The king in the North" Sansa was trying to hold back her excitement as she caught him staring down at her smiling,seeking approval which Sansa gave instantly with a smile of her own. He was a Stark. He was brave and strong and fitted and really Sansa wanted him to become the King in the North because she knew he would keep them safe. From any threat that would arise.Sansa wanted to scream and join them with the top of her lungs, but Petyr's prying eyes caught her and she lost every track of joy that had felt not only a second before.Feeling intrigued and knowing he was planning on dethroning him sooner or later with some vicious plan, Sansa moved to her chair.He would try to tear Jon down but she won't allow it.

Turning her face from him trying to avoid him a man caught her eye, green hooded standing in the corner of the right, next to the great door. He was holding a single Winter rose on his hand. His face wasn't showing and as hard as she tried she couldn't remember if she had seen this hood before. He gave the rose to a serving girl and told her something to her ear. The girl looked straight at her and started pacing to her way. The strange man was heading to the door, making his way out.

"M'lady, a man gave me this flower to give to you and tell you to be careful about anyone that isn't your family"  
Sansa accepted the winter rose, pale blue in color, and placed it just behind her ear. When she lifted her chin the man was gone and Jon was piercing his eyes on her.He turned down as if they were plotting something and whispered to her ear so no-one could hear.

"You look even more beautiful with blue winter roses on your perfect auburn hair,Sans. Men ought to shower you with them" and with these words being whispered to her, Sansa turned to face him and give him my brightest smile followed by a flushing red blush on her cheeks.


	8. A feast of feelings

After his coronation there were a lot of things that needed his attention. The rebuilding of Winterfell, the White Walkers that were marching south, The Wall and the lack of men to fortify it. Matters of the North that needed attending and he had to seek a solution to those and many problems more.  
He constantly seemed to be in pain. As if the burden was too much to handle. Of course it was. His trusted men were always by his side counseling him but as it appeared he was constantly asking my advise and took action by the things that i had recommended him.

  
He had visited my chambers multiple times during day and stayed with me till the sun went down. No more than that. We, sometimes,were fighting fiercely on stupid matters such as why haven't I eaten my food but other times were like we had never parted. Other times he just sat there with parchments laid on the table that required his signature or just to be read. We were about to host a great feast in order to celebrate the freedom from the Boltons and the return of house Stark. I could see though that he didn't want to. Neither did I to be honest, but if we were to die the next day, i would like to have some fun the night before.

  
Soon Winterfell will be crowded with people from the North to come and watch their King.

  
A just King he was. A courageous one.With the burden of this world lift upon his shoulders.

  
The ravens had been sent the previous day and we were expecting some in the next three to four days.

  
Stating that fact and that I had to make preparations he pressed his temple as if only the thought of that caused his an enormous headache. I smiled and thought that he wasn't into that at all. Mostly because we were expecting the great houses of the North to inform them about the situation North of the Wall. It was a conversation that might took hours.

  
"I don't like the idea of this at all. I hope my council wouldn't agree to that. I don't want to be brood but having feasts when the winter is upon us...It just frustrates me. The waste of resources are going to be crucial"

  
"You know you had to. People must know their King. Moreover you have to inform them of the situation North of the Wall. That is why this is all about...So deal with it...You might even get yourself a Lady. Now that you are King people will expect you to get a wife and believe me, Ladies will form lines from Winterfell to the Eyrie for you" I said to him playfully although i could not bear the thought of him taking a wife. It wasn't sibling jealousy though it was like something else entirely.

  
Something that I could not even think of it without chastise myself that it is not right.

  
"Well i won't be taking any wife i can assure you." He replied seeming a bit disturbed, annoyed maybe.

  
I remembered then about his wildling lover. That evening they had talked he had mentioned her. Ygritte was her name. The rest of the information were known to me by Tormund.She had auburn hair like mine, but she was like Arya in character. Fierce and strong and skilled with a bow and arrow.So skilled ,she later learned that Jon was marked by her marksmanship.

  
My trail of thoughts were disrupted by his gaze on me. "What is it now?" He was tight, like he didn't know how to express himself. He took a deep breath then."So you are saying that i am expected to take a wife, but what about you? I am sure that you'll have multiple offers.Many men would want to marry you". His tone was so wrong. So fragile. Would that be he was afraid? "Many men would want my claim, It is true , but i won't be marrying anyone just yet. Trust me , i wouldn't bear the thought of you killing any man that mistreats me" and i laughed so hard that my abdomen got really tight."I would hate to do that but i would've" he replied and the flames from the fireplace was dancing in his grey eyes.

  
I was staring at his eyes for several minutes and when I realised it i decided to change the subject.

  
"I will see that we do not waste so much food. I wouldn't want that"

  
He raised from the chair he was sitting and walked to the fireplace that was behind me, warming my back. Placing his right arm to the stone wall."I sent word to all the Northern houses and all replied. All except one. House Reed. They did not follow Robb, but i would like just to have all our banner men after the same roof."

  
"Maybe the raven lost its way,Jon. It happens all the time in the Neck. He shall come do not worry" and put my hand on his shoulders and he seemed to tighten under my touch. That was when I removed it but before i did i stared into his eyes once more.They seemed cloudy, dark. "I shall be going now. I grew kind of tired. I will see you on the morrow, Jon"He turned his face to the fires and the light from the hearth was making him extraordinary beautiful. Any women he beds must be a lucky one. "Have a good night, sister" his voice echoed through the stone walls and something sank in me with the word "sister".

  
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As the days flew, more and more people and their houses came to Winterfell. Everything was ready and I had managed not to waste a great deal out of our resources.

He was mostly trying to deal with things that concerned Winterfell and its restoration.

  
Until the night of the feast came. The Great Hall was even more crowded than when King Robert had visited Winterfell. I decided to wear an indigo long sleeved velvet dress with a black and silver linings on my shoulders. My hair were comped in loose curls but i decided to wear that pale blue winter rose behind my ear. Jon seemed to like it. And i wanted to look good for him today for some weird reason.  
I entered the room and everyone were there. They turned their eyes on me. I felt embarrassed as i am sure my cheeks were blushing bright red. ι took my sit on Jon's right as he rose to allow me to sit . He remained standing and everyone suddenly were quiet.

  
"I would like to thank all of you for the faith you have in me, to name me the King in the North. But i want you all to know that every decision i am taking my sister,Sansa, the trueborn daughter of Ned Stark and Lady of Winterfell, is by my side and helping me. So i would like to ask all of you to respect her and give her the recognition she deserves. We took the North together from the Boltons and we are in this together. Enjoy your meal and we will meet again on the morrow for the bigger plan that awaits us! Have a nice evening!" and he raised his cup and voices were raised to meet his speech in approval.

"I can't believe you did that. I remembered i specifically said that i don't want anything to do with being a ruler or your right hand. I simply am advising you because we are family"

  
"You made me have this feast and you will face the consequences, that being you are recognised. I still want to name you Queen in the North and i would like to renounce my title. I don't want this. You were always meant to be Queen. Even though you do not want it now you were raised to be one. Let us leave this all behind and enjoy this.You look very beautiful, by the way. That should be the first thing i was ought to say." His eyes became playful as he was saying it and i think i turned red again.Maybe he had too much to drink?Maybe It was because i was his only living relative.

  
"You don't look so bad yourself." I replied,smirking to mimic him. He was stunning. He had his raven curls pushed back,wearing black leather breeches and a grey woolen tunic. Above of it he had the cloak i had made him.

  
"I almost forgot, my lady..." he paused and turned to a maid and she instantly brought him something that had an odd shape. "That is for you." and gave me a napking that within it was folded a lemon cake. He knew that i loved lemon cakes, it was my favorite treat and i could eat a great amount of it. I placed a kiss on his cheek and it was his turn to turn red. "Thank you so much Jon. I appreciate everything you have done for me". He pressed his lips and nodded.

  
The rest of the evening passed merrily. Talking, laughing, making rude comments in low voices so that only we could hear it. If it was to die right now i would be happy. I went to and danced with all my heart and nothing seemed to matter. Spinning round and round I watched Jon sitting to the table smiling and i thought THAT was a change. He also seemed to be happy. All this frowning was for the best as it seemed. He took a stand and moved to the dance floor.

Our eyes were locked the entire time. As he patted my partner's arm asking for his permission to dance with me.

  
I watched his put my mischievous smile on and said " Good, because stomping on my feet was an option i had opt out! I hope you've learned how to dance when we were not together" teasing him.  
"No, but you are the only person i want to step on because you understand me and i wouldn't make a complete fool of myself. You know....A King that cannot dance" he answered back jokingly.  
I laughed and in a sudden move he framed my body and i followed. I was leading him, although it would appear that he was leading me. It was a trick i had learned to both Jon and Robb not to make themselves complete and utter idiots when it came to dancing. It was a trick that mother had taught me ,because obviously father was worse than my brothers were.  
We were swirling and swaying and laughing our hearts out. We came as close as we never had before. The last song was about to be played and it meant our queue to leave and go rest for the next morning. A difficult morning that was going to be,with all planning our defenses and how to make it through the Winter.

  
The bard was playing his harp beautifully. I couldn't look at Jon because i was too focused on him playing. He took a deep breath as if he wanted to say something but he hesitated.  
"Go on then, what is it that bothers you?"

  
"You know....I don't want to ever end this. With the end of the song it will be the end of our carefree life. We must face our problems. Starting tomorrow. And i am so tired. All i want to do is to stay back and enjoy every song even dance maybe. I rather not be fighting any more wars." He replied and his eyes indeed were looking tired. Probably to the lack of sleep for years.

  
"We must defend our people. Our home. If you do not wish to fight you can always fly away. I wouldn't bother. I find it rational that you want not to participate. I know the difficulties you have been through. "  
"I would not leave you alone. Never. You are my family. You matter now. You and our siblings that are alive. If they are alive." His eyes fell to the floor.

  
"They are alive and soon we will reunite once more. That is why we have to defend home. For our siblings to return and find us here."

  
He turned his gaze above my shoulders and nodded to look that direction he was pointing. Petyr was watching us like a hawk. Examining us.

"I don't like him at all. He makes me physically nauseated"  
I laughed because he spoke my mind. That was the feeling

i always got for looking at Littlefinger. He had his next scheme worked up no doubt. I wouldn't be bothered with him. Not tonight. Not while I am happy in Jon's arms.  
The song had ended and he parted his hands from the top of my waist but he never left my hand. He was holding it tightly. I would say in need. He made the announcement that whoever wished to continue he should, but he must be excused due to the fact that he had the council's meeting the other day. He released my hand, his grip still lingered for hours later, and showed the door.

  
Walking me to my chambers was awkward for me. I can't really understand why. The thoughts i had for him the last few days were nothing like they were before. I was always distant but now i was addicted to him. I missed him when we were apart and i was ten times happier when i was with him. But it wasn't right.

Ghost was walking down the corridor, that lacked the light, with us just a few paces forward.

  
"I will leave him just outside your door, just in case. He is the only guardian Ι trust for you" told me while stroking Ghost's neck.

  
"Thank you very much, but i'd rather have him sleep with me if that is okay with you. I always had Lady while i was asleep, but since she was gone i missed the feeling of her beside me and the warmth of her fur."  
As if pleading Ghost growled for permission to follow me inside. Jon looked to him and smiled crookedly.

  
"Alright then. You shall have him. Be good boy and kill anyone who isn't a Stark! Goodnight Sansa" he turned his eyes on me and leaped forward to place a kiss on my cheek that made me almost speechless and stunned.

  
"Good night to you too." I replied and hurried Ghost inside my chambers.

  
"Ghost you wouldn't tell on me if i was about to reveal you a little secret would you?"

  
He turned his face to side as if he didn't understand. Of course he didn't. But i wanted this weight lifted.

  
"Never mind. Come to bed" and he followed my command so eagerly.

  
All the night I was thinking that i was as bad as the Lannister's were. Filthy. I wasn't thinking about Jon as a sister would. I wasn't concerned as a sister would. And i sure was jealous of him. Not as sisters do. Guilt rose all over me. I won't be able to lay eyes on him, that is for sure.


	9. Of the North

During my night thought i realised that the days were fading away much quicker than before. The Winter was, indeed, here.

For us all.

And along came the horrible tales Old Nan used to tell us. But the most horrifying thing was that the tales were now the reality. Jon had confirmed it multiple times in those past councils and meetings with Northern Houses. He had pointed out the necessity of keeping as much food stoked as possible. Keeping supplies in general. We had to be prepared against threats like that. Not many of them seemed to believe him,though. They thought it was just a tall tale. I didn't. "We have to trust each other" he said to me. And i really trusted him. He was the one to lead us through the vast night that was to come. He was brave enough even if he didn't seem to believe he was fit for the position. He had warned me about the things that walk through the night, killing without caring if the person they had killed is a mother or an aunt of some child. They were merciless. Cold. And they were bloodthirsty. Coming for all of us, making no exceptions. That was the part that got me scared like a little girl. And that was because i could not wield a sword like Arya had.She and Brienne were amazing with a sword on their hands.

Oh my sweet little Arya. So fierce and strong and stubborn. She was just like Jon. Is she alive? I would turn the world upside down just to get a glimpse of her. To see if she is okay. If i could turn back time, knowing what i know now, i would have never discourage her about not wanting to learn how to sew, or riding the horse. I would have congratulate her, encourage her!

That was one of the reasons why i asked Jon to teach me how to defend myself. First of, because i never wanted to be a puppet anymore. I didn't want to depend on anyone. Secondly because it reminded me of Arya somehow. And also because i got to spent more time with him, which appeared to be healing for myself. I wasn't scared anymore. I knew i could make it. No man would lay hands on me without me not wanting to. But it seemed that the only two hands i could stand on me was Jons'.

 And it wasn't just that. I wanted to spent time with him. More and more every day. Being together at the councils or the plans of an upcoming battle was not enough. I felt happy when we were together, alone. Just being there. Me sewing and him reading letters and taking care of things. Not talking. It was easier said than done though. Because the days were shorter and it would be improper if they found me, The lady of Winterfell in my brother's chambers late at night. "Half-brother"  
my instinct kicked in. We were always away from one another why would i want to treat him like a brother now? And the fact that he knew exactly what to say to calm me down sometimes, and others to drive me crazy was something that made him more appealing to me. He was my brother but I never felt him like one. I felt more for him. And it was wrong

 The realisation that i was walking to the cold path that was leading to the Godswood was the one that took my mind off of him. I was thinking about him every minute of the day. Was this a punishment? For things i had done in the past? For naming my brother and father traitors in front of all the Red Keep just to survive? Why was this happening to me?

They were my unanswered questions in front of the weirwood tree. That's when i heard footsteps coming closer and closer. It was a good thing that Ghost was following me whenever i was going these days. I never felt vulnerable when Ghost was around. Turning my face to see where the footsteps came from there was the murderer of my aunt Lyssa.

His face smirking and i was nauseated just by the presence of him here.

  
"Lord Baelish. You almost got me scared. Lurking in the shadows when a girl is praying can be kind of scary you know" i tried to make myself clear that i wanted to be alone to pray. Even though that was a lie. I only came here to find some solace.

"Sweetling , I never meant to scare you off. Although I don't think that a Lady, and a beautiful one like yourself, should be on this place when all those wildlings are around. You never know who is going to come to claim you"

"Fear not, my Lord, i can take care of myself. I was just finishing up with my prayers anyway." I said as calmly and with half a smile on my face as i rose, cleaning my dress for the snowflakes that had landed on my shoulders and the snow that had damped to my knees. I tried to pass past him but then he took my arm violently paralysing me where i was

"My sweet sweet Sansa. You didn't think you could get rid of me that easily now could you? It seems that you owe me for bringing the Vale at your aid when you needed it. Now since you know my picture i would suggest you make it come true what say you, darling?"

"Lord Baelish, if i remember correctly you were the one that sold me like a slave to the Boltons. Just because my name was favorable. Now that no man will ever want to marry me again because Ramsay ruined me physically and most of all mentally please tell me why would you want me? Because i am a broken girl in need of you? If this is the case then think again, because You owed me and I consider the debt paid. I am in no mood to fulfill your dreams my Lord." My skin has turned to porcelain, to ivory, to steel. ... I am Sansa Stark, Lord Eddard's daughter and Lady Catelyn's, the blood of Winterfell. You don't owe him anything. He is the one that owes you the world. I was thinking to myself as i collected my hand back and watching the dumb folded look on Littlefinger's face. It gave me such satisfaction and a rush that i haven't realised that Jon was standing behind Baelish looking directly to my side with a proud look on his face. That was what gave me strength the most.

"Jon!" i exclaimed and watched at Littlefinger once more to see his disgusted face for Jon. He really disliked him. If he could he would have keep Jon dead. But he can't.

"Sansa i am so very sorry to interrupt. Brienne told me that you were praying and i was sure that you would have been finished by now. Didn't expect you would have company. If you will excuse me" said with an angry tone in his voice

I raised my hand to stop him and even ran a bit to catch up on him.  
"No Jon wait. Lord Baelish only came to announce that he is taking the Knights of the Vale to aid my uncle. Isn't that right Lord Baelish?" I turned to Littlefinger that was looking with the cunning look he always had.

"Yes of course my Lady. Now if you will excuse me I will leave you two alone. we will talk again about the details of the journey. My King" he bowed looked at us both standing on the icy field giving me one last warning look that this conversation wasn't over, turned around and then walked away.

 

As he was far away and couldn't hear us Jon finally said: " I don't like him one bit i swear to Gods. I would have his head if i could."

"When the time is right he will pay for all the things he had done. But for now i can assure you that he didn't want anything that mattered. Why were you looking for me?"

He was still looking at the path that Littlefinger had made with footsteps on the snow with disgust. When i asked him the question, seemed to recall what was the purpose of his visit.

"Yes of course....I came to see you because a letter came this morning. It had the Reed sigil on it. It seems that Lord Howland is staying at Winter town and wants a hearing with both of us. But privately. I don't know what he wants but it seems rather important. "

"I see. He hasn't appeared for many years so to be here and to want to meet us and privately for that matter seems a bit weird,indeed. I will start the preparations at once"

"You really shouldn't be out here all by yourself though. I hate how Littlefinger seems to follow you around all day waiting for the moment to do you more harm!"

I laughed at his commend. "I am not alone, silly... I have Ghost, your most trusted guard! Isn't that enough Jon? "

"Unless it is I, i will never be settled for your security my Lady" he took a bow and while standing he offered me his hand "What do you say about going in the castle where it is much warmer rather than out here and enjoy some ale? That would be nice won't it? These days i find myself always chasing you out of the cold,and here i was thinking that you preferred the warmth, you are here to prove me wrong, one more time" he said smiling still hanging his hand for me to claim it and walk me inside.

 "I was a stupid child back then. I wanted to marry a Prince or a Knight and i thought that i would be happy in the South. Yet i am a Stark of Winterfell and as it seems the cold suits me better, like it does to you too. Besides Jon...." I turned looking directly on those grey eyes that matched the color of the sky, "...neither you,nor Robb was born in the North. I was. And i don't want to ever leave this place again. And i don't want to leave you,too, ever again."  
With my last words his face seemed to light up and had a genuine smile that i had never watched before. He squeezed my hand and we returned to the castle. 


	10. Just for tonight

Jon was sitting in the Great Hall of Winterfell reminiscing of the days that the castle was full of life. His younger brothers always chasing one another and Lady Catelyn scolding them, because they kept falling to the ground and soiled their clothes. Arya being the fierce little devil she was,always chasing after Lord Stark,begging him to allow her to ride a horse,and when he denied her she always seemed to have a punishment for him because of it...That being complaining about her sister and her septa.Her sister as allowed to go on horseback not only because she was elder, but also she was quite careful not to spoil her silks. Unlike Arya. They were so different yet so alike at the same time.

  
And then there was Sansa. Always quiet and occupied with reading poems and stories about knights,always keen on knitting and lemon pies. Robb was the one that always spoiled her. He was showering her with gifts and she was eager to return his kindness with her love. She always was hugging him tight, and he was a fool,but he always was eager to feel her embrace. He wasn't jealous of Robb. He would die for him. It is just that he wished,just for once, just for a second, to receive an embrace from Sansa.To know what that felt like. He got one at castle Black when they met but only a few touches came and always felt their marks leaving him wanting more and more each time. He wanted to close her in his arms and never let her go.

  
That is when he heard steps approaching and as he turned his head it was Ser Davos carrying a letter with a red wax. H e kind of already knew what was about to read. And it was nothing good.  
"Letters these days seem to carry bad news. I doubt this should be any different" he thought.

  
Davos standed and opened his mouth to talk."Your Grace, a letter came. It appears that it is sent by the Lannisters." He seemed rather concerned these days. Maybe it was the nights that were getting longer,in addition to the days that were rather shorter. It meant that winter was upon them.

  
"Thank you,Ser Davos. And i beg of you. When we are in private please call me Jon" He didn't like his new title.No more that he like his previous one's but this one was special , only because he wanted to place the title onto Sansa's laps and crown her Queen in the North. She needed to be recognised.

  
The letter had indeed a red sealing wax with a lion on, hw already saw the colour but not the sigil.He felt despair,just as before when Ramsay had sent him the letter asking for Sansa.  
"To Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North Ramsay Bolton" He raised his eyes to ser Davos who was watching close now but not being privy. That was true. The news mustn't have reached the South. Bolton was dead. The Stark were home again.

  
"My son, King Tommen Baratheon is dead. So is Queen Margaery. I,Cersei of House Lannister First of my name,Queen of the Andals and the First Men,Lady of the seven Kingdoms and Protector of the realm, demand that you will swear allegiance to house Lannister and also, will deliver Lady Sansa Bolton back to King's Landing in order to deliver a trial and serve justice for King Joffrey's death and her part in it."   
So Tommen was dead, so was Margaery, Sansa's only friend in King's Landing. He had to tell her the news. And Cersei Lannister was now Queen and a mad one that seemed. She was the reason Sansa had suffered so much in King's Landing.Her and that prick Joffrey. He hated his guts,from the first time he laid eyes on him. He would have been happy if he was the one that ended him.

  
"Ser Davos, thank you for bringing me the letter. If you'll excuse me now, I have to see to my sister. There are some,rather,bad news i have to announce her" and he made his way to the door and to Sansa's room.  
Arriving at her room his heart quickened. That happened every minute of their time together since he felt her close to him at Castle Black. That was what he was missing all those years.Now he understood it. He had take a taste of her sweetness when she was but a little girl and he was her favorite brother. Always looking out for her.Always making Robb look out for her when he could not,when they were older, he was trying to keep her safe, even if she never knew it.But when he held her in his arms, after so many years he felt alive. He finally felt that feeling of her embrace and how his brither felt when she hugged him. The love she gave him. Even if his brothers,who loved to bits and would die for, were dead.Even if he didn't know where Arya was or Bran,she was the one that gave him hope. Hope for his family, that nothing is lost.   
He arrived outside her door and took a deep breath before knocking. He was about to make her unhappy and he didn't like it at all. She deserved to be happy. She had been through so much and he wanted to give her everything she had missed. He wanted to shower her with gifts and lemon cakes and keep her worm. He liked when she was happy , and she was so beautiful he almost cried. He knew that those feelings that rose from time to time were only because she was his only relative. They had to be.

  
He gathered himself took a deep breath and knocked. Brienne came to the door and she announced to Sansa of Jon's presence.

  
"Let him come inside Brienne." her voice echoed from inside the warm room. The fireplace was already lit but also he gave her Lord's chambers so she was always warm inside even if a blizzard was raging outside. It was the only room in the whole castle that was so warm.

  
He walked in and as he did he gave a condescending look at Brienne.

  
Sansa was sitting in front of the fireplace mending one of Jon's tunic that had been tormented from the battle. She tried to give it her touch, leave her mark by embroidering one direwolf in each sleeve. Her fiery hair,that seemed to be the same colour as the fire was, were covering her alabaster face.

  
When she felt him sitting on the chair she raised her head and her blue eyes were examining his expressions. He was trying to look anywhere but her. He knew that she could easily read him like an open book.  
"It is warmer that my room in here. I think i grew fond of the cold and now i can't stand the heat" He stated in an attempt to make small talk.

  
She understood in an instant that something was up with his behavior and asked of Brienne to leave them alone for a bit.

  
She then left the tunic on a stool that was in front of her,supposedly for her feet, and turned to face him. When he didn't cast his eyes away from the fire she got to her knees in front of him. Blue eyes looking directly into grey,and he was petrified,unable even to breathe.Her eyes were captivating. She was watching him but he saw the love behind those blue eyes. He couldn't let her down now.   
"Jon you are terrible liar and even more terrible at making small talk to avoid awkward situation. Tell me now, what is it? I can tell that something is really bothering you." Her voice was encouraging and soft. Her hands were now placed above his, her thumb stroking his skin slowly.

  
He still couldn't move and dropped his gaxe to their hands.With a swift move, their hands were now alla tangled up.Taking a deep breath so he could tell her the bad news, he felt her hands inside his,tightening.   
"Sansa, I am so sorry to announce you this. An hour ago a letter came, from King's Landing. The news mustn't have reach them so they do not know that i am proclaimed King in the North, nor that Ramsay Bolton is dead. The letter was addressed to him by Queen Cersei Lannister. King Tommen is dead, so is Margaery. I am so so sorry, I know she meant a lot for you." He would not tell her about the demand of Queen Cersei just yet. Even in mid sentence she seemed afraid just by the name of Cersei and then she looked devastated.

  
She was on her knees looking right and left trying to understand what she just heard when she stood up, with tears falling from her eyes. "Margaery? is dead? " She turned to the fireplace because she didn't want to show weakness in front of Jon or anyone for that matter. She seemed to always wear a mask that when they were together was off,except for now. "Everyone that I love are dead or gone or will be dead or gone. I must leave this place. Whenever i go death follows. First father, The mother and Robb and now Rickon and Arya and Bran are gone and Marg....oh good Gods! Tommen...he was but a....he was but a boy" she kept on rumbling and started pacing as if she wanted to leave. She was having a breakdown and Jon was worried. He raised from his seat just in time to catch her as she was falling literally with tears on her eyes. It was too much for her and he could understand that. They had lost so much.She started pushing him aside but he never let her.He held her head close to his chest and when her crying started to take her over , she placed her hand to stady herself on his chest and he felt electrified.

When she stopped sobbing he took her hands and placed her deep on the couch that she was sitting on before he entered the room and cupped her cheeks with his big hands, looked her deep in the eyes and told her with a low voice,only for her to hear "Listen to me, please Sansa...look at me! That Queen asked of you and accused you for the death of that prick that tormented you for so long. I will NOT give you to her because you are mine to keep safe. Our family is gone yes, but not because of you. You are the light. You gave me hope when I thought iwould never see any of our family member alive. Bran and Arya will be back soon i feel it in my gut, and all because of you. I told you that iwill keep you safe. I promised. And i am willing to keep to it for as long as i am breathing. You deserve a lot of things,my sweet Sansa, and they will be given to you. I will be here,I will never leave and iwill certainly never die because of you.Robb,father, your mother and Rickon am sure that will be proud of what you have become. I know iam.So please do not blame yourself for anything,especially for what happened to King's Landing. The Lannister's can open their graves and dig themselves in there for all i care. I won't EVER let them touch you"   
She listened to him very carefully and seemed to understand what his eyes were trying to tell her. He had suffered a horrible experience and she was his hope. She had never been anyone's hope. Or so she thought up until now. He was willing to give her the world and to protect her from any bad thing that comes her way.Nodding in aggrement she open her mouth."Jon...? I want to ask you something...please" She said still with tears in her eyes that were now falling to her cheeks.Jon looked at those tears and wiped them out as he wanted to do but kept still until now that he was unable to resist. His eyes were on hers, who weren't looking derectly."Anything for you,my Lady"

  
The candles upon the foreplace lit half of her face and made her hair like fires.With her head looking at her hands,that were now resting on her lap raised her eyes,and he could have sworn he saw redness on her cheeks aswell.

  
"Please do not leave me alone tonight. In here. Sleep with me please" she asked as if she were a little girl again.  
Jon could swear that Sansa could hear his heart even if he was right there and she was in the White Harbor. He couldn't ask this of him. He could not do that. He wanted too nonetheless. But he couldn't say no as much as his fear for his feelings was forcing him to. He has just stated that he would do anything for her.   
"As my Lady commands, I will" he said with a smirk on his face knowing that he wouldn't get any sleep tonight.


	11. Together

It was very difficult night for Jon. He did not get any sleep at all. He was the chaperon of Sansa. She deserved it. They had stayed awake for a while with her telling him tales about Margaery and how sweet she was but all  he could think of was how sweet Sansa smelled. A mix of lavender and lemon lingered on her soft skin, he knew it was soft despite the fact that she was wearing a heavy night gown in emerald with long sleeves. She did not want Jon to see her bruises. She woke up sweaty and teary many times and Jon was there to swipe the drops away from her forehead and her cheeks. Horrible nightmares of Margaery's death and perhaps Ramsay haunted her that night. It was a good thing she had asked him to stay, to take care of her. He wanted to keep her safe. He longed for her nightmares, because it meant that he could hold her tightly on him. When she was serene, her beautiful porcelain face was half covered by a river of auburn curls that kissed her face and arms.He often took a strand,that seemed to have slipped, away from her face, so he could see her. The light of the fireplace made her curves light in a way they had never before. Or maybe it was the first time that Jon had seen her for what she truly was. A woman. 

Bastards are born due to lust. And he had attempted to keep it at bay. He cursed himself internally because he could not keep his hands away from her.Did he return even more lustful? To crave over hos own sister? "SISTER" a voice within him screamed as if to remind him that this beautiful woman next to him was off limits. She was his to protect and noone would take her away. He would kill anyone who would try that. 

One side back of Winter was that nights were longer, and this particular night seemed endless. It was his torment.

He felt her slender body moving under his elbow and was prepared to take in another nightmare. " _I am a monster, i keep wishing she has nightmares so i can hold her. Gods help me" ._ Instead he felt an arm on his right bicep trying to turn him and succeeded, because he was a puppet in her arms and would do anything she told him. The window behind him let the moonlight enter the room and shine those Tully blue eyes of her making her even more beautiful, if that was even possible.She blinked multiple times,but when she opened, he felt a comp boobing in his throat,trying to suppress a sigh.  

"Jon?" she said calmly rubbing under her eye.   
  
"Yes, my lady?" he responded as normally as he could. She was breathtaking even in her sleep. What did he ever do to go on through that torture, he wondered.

"Oh stop calling me that or else I will start calling you Your Grace. It seems fitting to our King, who obviously hasn't had any sleep attending his sisters whines"she told him with a laughter as she  was ending her sentence and it seems it was contagious because he started laughing as well.   
  


After a while when the laughter faded he looked at her thinking if he should say something that he has been thinking for a very long time. With a smirk on her face she asked him ,as if she read his mind"What is it, Jon?"  
"It should be you. The one to rule them i mean. You are very strong,you were raised for that position and you know your curtsies. You were always a Lady. You do an amazing job, and you even did when you took our home back." She shrugged " WE did it Jon. Together." That sent his heart above clouds. She acknowledged that they were together in this. He was never on his own after all. "What I want to say is, that i wish you to be our Queen. I will announce it first thing tomorrow and I will not take a No for an answer, my decision is final." Her look fell on the covers, not looking at him. "Winterfell belongs to you, I always believed it Sans" he raised her face with his fingers under her chin and her eyes were teary. She was smiling,and he was also smiling, because he had made her happy. He lifted himself and placed a kiss on her forehead, and when he finished and looked at her again she was watching in the height of his mouth. He suddenly felt a fiery pit gathering in his stomach. She opened her mouth then "How about we rule together then? You might be called a Snow but you are a Stark,to me. How about We become King and Queen. As brother and sister. We would be the first. " He thought of it for an instant.He was helpless. He thought of her as his Queen by marriage, but even thought he could not have that he would settle for her being his Queen sister. They would be equals. "Aye, I agree to that. No, go back to sleep."   
  
Turning her back to him she smirked and whispered "Goodnight, My King"   
"Goodnight,My Queen." and with that he turned his back on her back and drifted to a blissful sleep. She was his Queen.   
  
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When I woke up he was nowhere to be found, He must have left early in the morning, and I was a sleepy head always trying to seize the very last minute of sleep. Ghost had settled next to bed that is why it was so warm. 

The morning light was grey and this could mean one thing. It was snowing again, the sun was behind clouds. I raised myself with difficulty from the covers and the warmth of the bed ready to start the day.And break my fast with Jon was the first thing to beginwith. He had to be waiting in the Great Hall so I gave Ghost a hug and started my way there.

I put on a velvet grey gown and boots to keep me warm through the day. As I was striding through the corridors every one that saw me curtsied and whispered  _Your Grace._ What has he done now?

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He had woken up early to announce the news before Sansa woke up. She was a heavy sleeper and she could use all the sleep she could get. Long days and even longer nights were upon them. He put on his clothes and his fur handmaid by Sansa and gifted to him. He went to the Great Hall and waiting for their Lords to gather. When everyone were there, including Littlefinger that he hated the most, He started to announce the reason he had called them. 

"Have a nice morning. The reason i called everyone of you here so early, even before we break our fast , is because I wish to tell you something. My sister and I decided to do something, well, innovative. We will rule together the North as equals and she shall be called your Queen. She is the true born daughter of our father,Eddard and a Strark and I would hate for her to have something less than what she truly deserves especially after what she has gone through with Ramsay Bolton." Everyone agreed and shouted  _AYE_ and  _Queen Sansa._ So that went well. After a bit and as the room was emptying Lord Baelish started to stroll towards Jon. "Your Grace" he bowed. "Lord Baelish" Jon announced without looking at him. "Sansa. I must taught her well. One night with her and you already are proclaiming her Queen. Careful now, some might take it the wrong way. The way you treat your half-sister" smirking said to him as he turned to face the exit. Jon was now fuming. He wanted his head for even talking about Sansa.   
  
"Your Grace, may I have a moment or did I come in the wrong time?" a man with a green hood came. He wondered who that mysterious man was since he gave Sansa a blue Winter rose that she wore proudly for a day. "Of course my lord...?" uncloaking was a man in the same age as Ned Stark would have been is he were alive. Maybe younger. "Reed , your Grace". Jon rose from his sit and extended his arm that Lord Reed took with both hands and shook it. He waved to the chair near the fireplace. "It is getting colder and colder this days". "Yes , indeed winter is almost upon us. That is why I am here. I need to take a burden off of my chest, son. I kept your father's secret for so long, and it is high time that you know. I don't think you are ready but i fear I must return to the Neck sooner than expected. You must believe what i say because it is the truth. I don't have to negotiate. A war is coming and i must prepare myself. Lady Sansa already took my piece of advise and i wish I could stay longer to answer your Questions. Do you understand son?" Jon was kind of startled but he nodded in agreement nonetheless.  "Good, I gave Lady Sansa a Winter Rose because it was your mother's favorite. Jon , your father and I went to rescue Lyanna from Rhaegar as you are quite well aware of that but Ned went into that tower and instead of coming out with Lyanna, He came out with a baby boy. That was you Jon. Ned was not disrespectful to Lady Catelyn. He was protecting you and his sister. If Robert had found out that you were the son of Lyanna and Rhaegar,he would have killed you. Rhaegar never kidnapped her, she went willingly and the seed of the love they barred for each other was you. I was there that day. I held Ned's secret as my own. I loved Ned and your family Jon. I even sent my children to take care after our brothers Bran and Rickon. Now I know I am leaving you with questions but I am so sorry that i have to leave. Prepare yourself, Your Grace, for Winter is here". Raised his hood again and left the room leaving Jon a mess. His whole life was a lie. His mother...and his father....how about Eddard Stark and his siblings? He wasn't a Starl. He was a Targaryen. He had happiness for a very short period of time. What did he ever do to deserve this? Everything he wanted snatched from his hands in an instant.

The heavy door opened again and a grey and red form barged in. He had tears in his eyes and couldn't see clearly enough. It was Sansa, and she was smiling before she really saw him. A mess with hands clasping his head and holding back tears. She run to him and fell on her knees when she finally reached him and locked him in her embrace.   
  
"Hush, I am here. I will always be here for you." She smelled of lavender and lemons again as the night before. And he couldn't hold the tears back any longer. 


	12. What you always wanted

I was there trying to tease him or ask him what did he even say to Northern Lords. But as I was about to enter the Hall, a man in green hood, that I presumed was Lord Reed, he seemed like him, was coming out. I imagined that he was the stranger that had warned me to trust only my family while he gave me the blue Winter rose that Jon liked so much. I curtsied slowly and he gave me a half smile, as if he dreaded what I was about to face in there. I opened the heavy oak door with a smile on my face, but it disappeared as soon as I saw Jon sitting there, in front of the fireplace with a stoic look and watering eyes towards where i was standing. I rushed over at him , falling on my knees to cup his cheeks. He was brave and strong but he needed warmth as well. I was so willing to give him my all. I didn't like him like this. Cupping his cheeks did nothing and something in me moved and pulled him in tightly to embrace him, to lock him out of all that was bad. He did not deserved to be harmed. He was good, and oh! she was so king and gentle towards me. I had to be for him. I wanted to be. And, Gods, I loved his touch. He was the one that held me tight all this time, and last night during our sleep he was the one that wiped the tears and the sweat away. 

"Hush, I am here. I will always be here for you."I managed to say while he raised his eyes to look at me and he came down to tears. He was breaking my heart. What happened in this very room a few minutes before? I was pulling him down to the floor with me, that was quite warm because of the fireplace. When he finally stopped, I did my best to make him feel comfortable. To make him feel like home. I wanted him to open himself but I didn't know if he was able to do so so early.

  
"Did you know,Sans?" His eyes were directed on me, and suddenly i felt powerless because there was something there that seemed to be disappointed in me.

"What are you talking about? Know about what?" I tried to steel myself and really look at him. He seemed to be afraid. Even his arms around her waist, holding her close to him seemed to tremble.

  
"Don't tease me Sans. Everything around me seem to collide. I am the human death. Every time i have something good in my arms it turns to absolute shit" and he removed his hands from my waist and jerked away as if i was a hallucination. He looked so afraid.

  
"Jon i honestly have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Care to share ?" I was now frustrated. He suddenly raised himself, pacing back and forth away from where i was ,on my knees still

.  
"The truth about my mother. Father never got the chance to tell me who she was." How voice was now breaking. "That is brilliant news but i don't understand what upset you..." i raised myself and went towards him but he suddenly backed "... What i do mean is that you will apparently be my family whoever your mother is. You are a Stark, you will always be one"

 

His eyes darkened and he growled . He was fuming. " No my lady , i am not. I am part Stark ,indeed, but not from the same father. We are not half siblings, but cousins. My father was Rhaegar Targaryen that had wed your aunt , and my mother apparently, Lyanna." His words echoed through my mind. We did share the same blood, that of the first men, bit not the very same blood of Lord Eddard Stark. He was my cousin.  
I burst into a hysterical laughter. I couldn't stop it, and he was looking at me as if he wanted to strangle me though I did not know why. I went towards and once again he tried to back but i managed to capture his wrist with my hand . "Why is it a bad thing? I am a bit shocked indeed, but you are a prince. And we are cousins. And i wished my mother were here to find out that father was just protecting you. You are still a Stark . But you are also a Targaryen. We should inform the Lords. This should help us with the threat coming from beyond the wall."

  
He jerked his hand out of my grip " Of course you would say that. That's what you always wanted , probably. Littlefinger was right. You spent so much time with him and you learned all about manipulating people didn't you? You wish to announce it so that you can be in charge. I was a fool to give you the title to the North."

  
I couldn't stop. I slapped him hard , and a red mark appeared on his cheek "i never asked you, you just went and did it. I never wanted it, i wished for you to belong. To be a Stark. You are a fool, but to trust Littlefinger. Don't you ever speak to me personally again. We will communicate only for the matters of the North." I raised my chin up and headed towards the oaken door. His eyes were scortching my skin.with a shattering voice he tried to yell to my back "San-Sansa, my lady, i am s....."

  
I turned to him and raised my hand to where he was standing, still clasping his cheek. "Save it, Your Grace." The door echoed through the corridor as it slammed hard.

  
How could he tell me those things? How could he blame me for such horrendous actions. I would not cry for that kind of person. My skin has turned from porcelain ,to ivory,to steel. I would not let him penetrate that and make me feel like the stupid little girl. But he was the only one that tried to bring my walls down, and succeeded. All those things he said the previous night. He was so important to me. He was my strength and now i had to draw it from someone that really cared. I had entered my room and went straight to the pillow to shove my face in. But it was not a good idea. He still smelled like him. Like pine wood and smoke. That was the moment were i burst into tears. A knock on the door startled me then.

  
"Who is it now?" I composed my self and tried to do so with my voice. The voice from behind the door was Jon's .

" Please , I didn't mean to ... I am hurt and...I just, can't. And I deserved that slap and...." He was surprised as i opened the door in a rush. "Stop just.....stop. We should have never got this close.We will communicate only for the matters of the North as i told you before but that is that. End of story. " He tried to come inside but i blocked the entrance. He looked up and sighed. "Don't do this to me. I am afraid of losing you too. I've lost everything."

  
"You should have thought of it before, your Grace. Enjoy your rest of the day. We are done here."  
And i slammed the door to his face but before i saw him trying to speak, but not being able to do so.

We are done.


End file.
